What does it mean when a guy says no but yeah after being asked Do you want me to back off?

Lately, the guy i have/was talking to for 8 months has been acting distant. We began talking to each other long distance and now he lives in the same state as me literally 45mins away instead of 6 hours by bus. I have been getting fed up with feeling isolated so today I asked him if he wants me to back off. Instead of giving me a straight answer he says "no but yeah" and then goes on to say he can't talk about it right now because he is at work. I have concluded in my mind to accept the answer as he wants me to back off and I plan to do so however I know he is an indecisive person and doesn't always see or act on things in black and white. Although I have pretty much made up my mind that he means he wants me to back off I am seeking some more male opinions.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He is stressed out right now IMO. How long ago did he move closer? The moving is stressful itself since it costs money and you have to lug stuff from one place to the other.

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    • He moved less than a month ago. I understand that he just moved here but the way I see it is people make time for what they want to make time for. There are only 24 hours in the day and I am not asking for him to put his new job and volunteership to the side to spend every waking moment with me. His move wasn't that stressful in the sense that he is living with a friend right now and still has his apartment/car. I personally think that he is excitingly overwhelmed living in a big city after coming from a small not city like area and he is focused on things that he deems most important.

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    • It might be best to see if he gets back to you. Use your instinct. It sounds like you will be ok.

    • thank you. I am sure I will be ok. I am a little pissed off about todays exchange however it has put mind mind and body at ease. I will leave him alone and I guess see what happens. But I most definitely will not be making any further contact.

What Girls Said 1

  • for how long and in what way has he been acting distant?

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    • well he has been on and off distant since February after he lost his old job and was going through a minor mid life crisis. Once he got his new job in may and relocated to NY we were talking here and there but now its like days will go by and we won't speak unless i start conversation. So today I got fed up and I asked him if he wants me to back off which to me is a question that needs a yes or no answer but instead I get "no but yeah". So how do I navigate that? Do I go with the latter?

    • Id wait a week then

      tell him be straight with you- no games. Would he like to take a step back from the friend ship.

      Or if you dont want to ask again just say:

      You understand he's going through a stressful period, and sometimes being there as a friend means giving your friend the space thy need without any hard feelings. Maybe it would be best to take a step back from the friend ship. IF/ when he's ready to reconvene let you know.

      Really though he shouldn't be making you guess. how hard is a simple yes or no. you can forgive it i suppose bc of the stress. butid definitely have a direct exchange before you drift away into the sunset/. just out of respect really, he should give you a clear response.

      you can still get an answer AND back off. thats superior to just wating around which is demoralizing.

      you can still be friends AND back off. itdoesnthave to be the beall end all. i think a dirct exchange would help preseve the integrity of your relationship.

    • thank you. I am sure I will be ok. I totally agree that I deserve a direct answer and not something that is in the gray. I am a little pissed off about todays exchange however it has put mind mind and body at ease. I will leave him alone and I guess see what happens. But I most definitely will not be making any further contact.

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