Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like he has not yet matured from his former lifestyle. He was able to quit the drugs. But he is not ready for the responsibility of a family.
In my opinion. He does need some space to get his head together and decide what he wants to do. Hopefully he will make the right decision and stay to raise the boy with you. But I doubt it.
The sad part about this is you may very well end up raising your child on your own.
Blaming you for getting pregnant is stupidity. He was there too obviously. And birth control is his responsibility as well as yours.
He is in a position he does not want to be in. He is being selfish. He needs to either suck it up and be a man about this or go on his way.
If he goes. Do not let him go without him giving you money every month to assist in expenses for your child.
Quite honestly he sounds like a bit of a dink. You would likely be better off without him.
Most Helpful Girl
He was not ready for a Commitment with You or anyone back three years ago, sweetie and even Now---Is Not ready again. He doesn't want to get tied down, have any responsibilities with you or his son, and now he is even disrespecting you and your mom by setting his sights on 'another girl' And other things---------under your nose and under mom's roof.
He resents you highly for getting pregnant, for strapping him down when he really didn't want to, or at least thought He did, but Now Really doesn't want to-----and Now everything, three years later and a son to boot, has escalated into This mayhem.
He's not grown up yet, he's still immature, and you need to tell him to hurry his sorry butt Out of mom's and into his own Crash pad as soon as possible. If not, he will feel he can take advantage of her kindness while he goes out and does his Thing with anyone or anything he wants to. He has a good job you say? Then it should be no problem for him to find other living arrangements for just himself.
Aside from this innocent boy who was not asked to be born, you are not married to him, you have no ties. Move on yourself, and don't continue the full circle of taking him back when he wants to, at His convenience. Like the drugs, you were an enabler, but I do agree everyone deserves a second chance, but this time, he has blown any other chances.
Allow him to see his boy when he wants, but do Not ever let this schmo get away without paying child support. Make this legal, or on top of being a loser to you, he will end up a dead beat dad to his son.