Should I consider taking him back? Asshole or no asshole?

My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago.

Immediately after the breakup, he told me that he wasn't sure of our decision. I agreed to take some time to think about it.

Two weeks of silence followed. I used to bump into him during the weekend because we hang out at the same places. He was drunk almost every time. At first we sat and talked for like half and hour when we saw each other.

But then I asked him if we could stop talking to each other at all because I needed to move on. He agreed, even though he wasn't happy about it.

A week later, I bump into him again and just wave hi with a smile (in order to implement the No Contact rule :P). I think he took it badly because the next day he calls me and asks if we could talk.

I agreed to have a drink with him, and he said he wanted me back. His friends made him realize that I was the one who allowed him to be stable (he has problems in his life) and that he was stupid to let me go.

We had a great evening and we talked about everything that was wrong in our relationship and how to fix it. He texted me casually the next day.

I'm just not sure if his intentions are really good. Should I wait to see if he's going to put enough effort in winning me back? Or is it obvious that I have to let him go?

What do you think?

  • Take him back!!
    Vote A
  • He's an asshole let him go...
    Vote B
  • Wait and see.
    Vote C
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24

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you go back to this guy you'll spend all of your time making sure he's all right and the focus will always be on him, which is not the way relationships are supposed to go if you want them to be happy ones. The evidence you talked about was this: after the breakup, he couldn't handle it (you saw him drunk a lot); he had to be talked into continuing the relationship by his friends, not something he came up with on his own; and he immediately went back to a casual attitude instead of showing signs of extra affection or any other change in behavior.

    You sound like you spend a lot more time thinking about the health of your relationship than he does. You said his friends told him you kept him stable while you were together. All this adds up to you being more if a caretaker than a partner. It's time to find someone better.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You didn't provide us with enough information about this to know anything. All we know are the basic facts of what happened. There is no way for any of us to tell you if he's seriously changed his mind or if he's playing with you. Although, I don't see any reason to play with anybody like that in a relationship unless you're just plain mentally unstable like the guy that Criscodomus apparently dated

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    • Whatever max, no wonder you're a single/gamer.

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    • Yes, you did overreact quite a lot when you mentioned "mentally unstable" reference to who I've dated and being biased? If only you really knew M_A_X, thanks for the opinion.

    • Mentally unstable was probably a bad choice of words on my part. Morally unstable would be more fitting. Also, yes though, your biases plainly shows through your post. You basically said "It happened to me this way, so it will happen to you" in so many words

  • communciate better tell him TELL ME THE TRUTH WHAT DO YOU WANT REALLY.

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    • Will he tell me his true intentions if I ask him? It seems like you guys sometimes don't even know your own reasons :P

    • if you ask him nicley.

    • He might not tell you his intentions. Sometimes when it seems that he's giving a reasonable answer he could be just telling you what he thinks you want to hear. Some guys are assholes like that.

What Girls Said 2

  • Believe me on this if you feel that his intentions are not good then it's because they are not. He agreed to breakup and suddenly wants you back because you're serious about staying away from him. If he really wanted to be with you he would have realized before his friends opinions were made to him that he should work things out instead of let you go. He sees that you're doing fine and he's trying to ruin that for you. This happened to me many times with my ex and it was just disaster. Don't give it another thought, you know what you want and it's obvious that it's not him. Move on, enjoy being single, forces on yourself and have fun.

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    • *focus* on yourself

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    • Wow, I'm guessing you're her bf? She asked for advice and I gave my opinion, that's it. Me psycho? really dude you're getting butt hurt for what? Grow up.

    • I just can't stand people who try to speak in absolutes, when they have no idea of the implications of it. I also can't stand when people let their personal biases get in the way of giving sound advice. People here expect you to be UNBIASED and honest, and forthright. Not to tell them crap like "Oh, my man cheated on me girl, so your man will cheat on you, believe me on this". No offense, but these are people's actual lives, and you should take it more seriously

  • What's in it for you if you take him back?

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