What do I do if I want my ex back? Is it over? does she still love me? Is there hope in the future?

About a month ago my long distance girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. We started having issues in March and she broke up with me in early April. After she broke up she gave me about a month to prove that I could be there for her. Our communication hadn't been the greatest because we were both busy with school. So after the semester ended she told me that she met someone and a party. She has also met a few other guys since then but from what I've heard she's been trying really hard to find a guy even resorting to hook up apps to meet guys. IS it just me or is she trying really hard to find someone to replace me as a way to cope with the breakup. When she broke up with me she said that she wanted to have a normal college experience, and that meant going out with her girlfriends and not feeling guilty if something happened with a guy. Since the break up she's been psoting a lot of pictures of her drinking and its just really gotten to me. Ever since she's turned 21 all she wants to do is go to the bars and drink. She used to be such a homebody and that's not to say she never went out but its like her priorities have shifted. What should I do in this situation? I really do love this girl with all my heart and we had discussed marriage in the past. When we started having problems with communication I really started to force it but I think she really started to want to see if the grass was greener on the other side without me.

What do I do if I want to get her back? Her friends adored us being together and they weren't very supportive of her decision to break up with me.

Initially when she broke up with me we were texting often even though the tone wasn't the same. But she said she still wanted to talk. I sort of went to texting terrorism:( for the first 2 weeks after we broke up in May. But I have gone 2 weeks without texting her, but I sent her flowers that she should receive today. I want to finish out the 30 day no contact rule. Where do I go from here?
  • Continue to give her space?
    Vote A
  • Try reaching out?
    Vote B
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What Girls Said 1

  • Being you both have split, and she is Now 21 and free as a bird, her 'priorities' probably have 'shifted'------To the wind, putting you Now on her pay no mind list. It's obvious she wants to have no strings attached, be hooked at the hip, and Now it has come to This.
    For now, give her some space. It was indeed sweet of you to send the flowers. This may or may not have an affect on her, but I can tell you LDL takes a lot of patience, hard work and Effort on Both partie's parts, and if one is Not doing what he or she need to do to keep their beguine going, then it's fruitless.
    She may change her mind, giving you another shot. Or she may just want to take advantage of being of age, experiencing all, getting her taste of the wine and the wild side of life.
    Yes, I believe she wants to see what is on the other side of the fence, green or not, and most likely Any guy she gets hooked up, will be just a 'test of the waters,' nothing serious.
    Wait for Her response to the flower power you sent. Take it from there. And perhaps you both can even make some sort of Compromise that Might work for you until you see what is next.
    And might I add, Keeping the lines of communication is the most important thing, LD or close by, to always let someone know they are closet to your heart.
    Good luck. xx

    • hey Paris13 thank you so much for your insight. I also wanted to add this detail. I am actually transferring to her school in the fall to finish up school there. I have every intention of not talking to her even though I want to. When I get there in the fall I planned to not communicate with her until she comes to me, if she ever does. Does this change the game at all?

    • Show All
    • I guess in my heart I don't want to date anyone because if I still love this girl. its unfair to whoever I would date because my heart isn't with them... and I know some can argue that if she isn't putting in the same effort or doesn't have this same belief that I do, that I should move on.

    • I DO agree anyone you would date or have as a mate at this time, would be what I refer to as a "Rebound Rebecca," but no one says it has to happen Now. Give yourself time to lick some old wounds, and just go slow with your flow. And if you do end up friends with Her, of course your choice if you want this or not, then it would have been meant for this. Give it time, but I do believe she is contented at the moment. I am not sure if she will even get steady with this Eddy, or just continue to maybe play the field, but she IS only 21 and seems to be enjoying her life... Although as I say----she most likely wants you in her life. xx

What Guys Said 1

  • Umm neither. Your ex certainly no longer wants to be in a long distance relationship and probably doesn't want to be in a relationship with you at all. She wants to get party and get laid.

    You need a Vote C option: Get over her. It's not going to happen. And the sooner you come to terms with the fact that it's over the sooner you can move on with your life. Sometimes life's a bitch like that.

    • All these people wonder why life is so shitty and they're so depressed and unhappy. Whatever. It's your life man.

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