Help with confusing ex-girlfriend behavior. FYI I still want to be with her?

I may just be blinded and biased because the way I feel, but before I go into this, I do want her back even though it may not sound like it.

I was in a relationship with this girl for 9 months. About 5 months ago she broke up with me without giving a reason. She did state during the break up (she invited me over to tell me) that she still cared for me and wanted to stay friends. At that time, I asked her immediately if there was no way to work something out and she said something to the tune of she had prayed about it, and decided no (she's a shy, religious, and conservative girl whom I was her first real relationship) She is 28 years old. Anyway, I left her apartment, and over the next month and a half, tried to reason with her and told her I loved her, etc. Of course that didn't get anywhere. I didn't speak with her after that for two months. We do work together at the same place, and have to speak to each other over the phone, but not see each other. However, we have a mutual friend who physically sits beside her at work, and she told me she has seen her grab the phone when she sees my number show up on caller ID at the office while I was not communicating with her those two months. My ex also asks the mutual friend if I talk to her every so often. After those two months of no contact, and after hearing from my mutual friend what was up, I decided to text my ex, and she responded. It was just casual conversation. I actually called her and asked her if we could try another go at the relationship last night which marks five months after the break up. She said she doesn't have feelings for me anymore, and that we could be friends though. I am confused, because according to our mutual friend she still misses me and wants to know what I'm doing. Anyway, I did agree we could be friends during the phone call. So please tell me all of your opinions on the situation. Is there still a chance to get back with her? I heard the dreaded friend zone is bad.
What is your opinion on being friends, if my intentions is to win her feelings back? Should I just break contact with her, with the exception of work of course? What do you think her deal is? Is she just stringing me along?
I mean she is a shy girl, at least from what I know of her. Just give me some opinions of what you think is going on and how I should proceed, if at all? I'm just really confused. I want to be her friend, but I honestly still have feelings for her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's probably guilt. She feels guilty for breaking up with you as well as misses the companionship when you guys dated. After a breakup, girls get pretty vulnerable and yearn for "affection". I wouldn't say she in stringing you along with mailicious intent but I will STILL say that she is indeed stringing you along just so she won't feel lonely.

    It might also be ego. Some girls find it more crushing to know the guy can move on before her which is probably why she acts like "she misses you".

    Staying friends while you yourself has intention to get her back will not only be frustrating, but also painful. She might even take advantage of that and have u constantly shower her with affection. Its better you return to just "workmates" with no outside work contact. Stop texting and stop calling... you will only feel worse.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Being a shy, and religious girl as well Im guessing it has something to do with her religion. If she's a Christian it could be that she feels like it won't work because you are not a religious person ether. I don't mean to sound shallow its just that she might wants some one that will have the same morels as her. Or if you where sexually active she might not have wonted to go any further with the relationship because she felt like she was being pushed into things she did not won't to do.


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