How to break up with a 5 year BF, that lives with you?

So, I have 5 years with my BF, we live togheter

In my heart I love him, but I don't see future for us.

Our principles, morals, believes and customs are total opposites. In sex we are just not compatible. So my mind and logic tells me this is not working.

I've tried to break up before, but he is big on manipulation and blame, and as I said I really love him.

How would you handle this? The apartment were we live is mine.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just break up. If you honestly don't see a future with him and you are not happy then break it off. If you have no children it will be easy than if you did. I just broke my 12 year marraige off over a month ago and it was hard but I had to do it. We just grew apart and weren't compatible and we tried for so many years to make it work. We have kids so it makes it more difficult but it was for the best. My advice is to just let him know how you feel and try to break it off as soft as possible.

    • Don't give in to the manipulation. Mine was the same way.

    • Show All
    • BTW, good luck with the whole rebuiling your life thing. You are brave and wish you the best.

    • Good for you. I know it's tough. PM me anytime if you ever need anymore advice or to talk. Hang in there! xo

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What Guys Said 5

  • so you really love him but you want to break up because mentally and physically things don't feel right to you.

    Ok, firstly why do you love him, you can't break up with someone that you love because you will struggle to get over it and will probably end up back together. If however you don't love him but care about him like a brother etc then that is the first step in breaking up.

    you need to be honest, blunt and take physical steps to back up your decision.

    So firstly stop acting like his partner and be more like a friend. No kissing, hugging, holding hands and definitely no sex.

    Secondly, seize the opportunity to point out how different you are. Such as commenting on his opinions to news stories and how you completely disagree.

    Thirdly, Tell him that you don't feel that things are right anymore and that you are going to sleep on the couch. Hopefully he will do the right thing and take the couch himself. Either way tell him that you need to go your separate ways and give him a time frame for moving out because you can't live like this forever.

    He will try to manipulate you and he will blame you and be angry. Just agree with him but at no point tell him that you still love him. In fact deny your feelings toward him and even lie so that he gets the message.

    Keep your eye on the goal and that is to be happy.

    • Thanks, I will do my best.

  • Sadly, there is no painless way to do it. You just have to do it. The best way is face to face even though that is also the hardest way. I think he deserves at least that much. Its not fair to either of you to stay with him if there is no future. The other thing is, if you decide you need to break things off, the longer you wait, the harder and worse it will be for both of you.

  • Move out. Or bring another guy home. Hopefully he gets the picture.

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  • My sister said: Move out or get him to move out. Text him and let him know you want to be friends but you need sometime away from him if you want to be friends one day.. Don't let him talk you out of it. Move on and don't answer any calls. Don't listen to any messages or read any texts. Don't see him. Stay away until you go weeks without thinking about him. Live your life as if he never existed. Try not to think about him. Occupy your mind with things that challenge your mind. Try not to have periods of time when you don't have anything to think about so you will not think of him. Do things to make you happy. Don't do or say anything that will make you think of him. Stop talking about him to people once the initial pain of the break up is over. (The time period when you may be very emotional, think you can't live without them and want to call or text them constantly) Don't date anyone else until your over your ex boyfriend. After you can go weeks without thinking about him at all and can take him or leave him, then you may want to call him and ask if he wants to be friends. However be careful of your contact with him because if your not completely over him, the feelings will return. And if that happens, tell him your not ready and repeat the process over again. My sister said: This has helped her get over every ex boyfriend she's had and gave me the same advice which worked for me as well. She said time helps more when you don't use that time thinking about your ex.


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly you're just going to have to bite the bullet and do it, sooner rather than later.


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