He said he wasn't good enough?

My ex and I dated for about 8 months before he ended things. Since then, not much has changed between the two of us besides the label (or lack-thereof). I've been through lots of different emotions, but I've been OK for the most part. We have all of the same friends and we always have a great time together traveling, cooking, etc. I figured that if things felt okay between us, then there was no need to re-hash the breakup. Let it be; we don't need the label. The problem is that it's now been several months since we broke up (over half the time we actually dated), and it's starting to really bother me.

I brought it up the other night, and he responded by telling me that He feels like he is a burden to me, he doesn't benefit me, and that he is not good enough for me.

That made me very sad. I guess I just don't understand why a guy would let go of something he thinks is "too good". I definitely do not feel that he is a burden, or not good enough. In fact, I think he's wonderful. Everyone who I've talked to about this tells me to let go (which is a very hard thing for me when I care about someone). The immature little girl in me is scared to even try, out of some hope that he will change his mind.

I know all guys are different, but I'm hoping that a male here will have some solid advice. :/


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What Guys Said 1

  • There's two possibilities here:

    #1 - He has a low self-esteem and really believes he's not good enough for you. However if he really felt that way would he still be carrying on with you as usual? I have my doubts, but then I'm a rather cynical individual.

    #2 - He is keeping you around as a regular access to sex and the good parts of a relationship. As you two have split up and there has been no talk of labels, he's technically single, therefore there's nothing stopping him from seeing you on a Sunday and seeing another girl on the Wednesday.

    If you are unhappy with your current situation then you need to make your feelings known to him.


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