I've recently discovered my husband has been having an affair with a girl since we have been engaged, he doesn't know i know. from what i know they knew each other before we met and he has been in touch with her since, he hasn't actually seen her many times but he rings her up all the time and is constantly messaging her. i found out earlier this year that i had pre cancerous cells and had them removed and i found messages from my husband to his mistress saying that he needs to try at his marriage and how he takes things one day at a time in the relationship, he could be single in a year or married forever he just doesn't know. he also told her that he thinks the world of her and cares about her and let him know if she is ever in trouble, he also mentioned he wants to stay in touch with her so he knows she is doing ok. from previous messages before all this he was planning to leave me after his brother baby was born which happened just after i found out about my cells. then i found messages him telling her that i was pregnant and that they couldnt speak anymore and he hopes she is always ok. i thought that was the end of it but then i found that he had called her a month later a couple of times and messages from him to her saying he was sorry he lied about his wife being pregnant (because im not pregnant, he told her about my cancerous cells) and how he wants to stay in touch with her again, he mentioned again he could be single in a year or married forever. he was also asking about her love life and telling her what types of guys she shouldn't end up with. ,,,,,,,,,, does he truly see her as a friend now that he is suggesting guys she shouldn't end up with or should i be worried that he still likes her? i love him and we have only been married two years so i want to try at my marriage or am i fighting a losing battle? i know i look like an idiot but i love him... any help would be great i dont know who to talk to
Most Helpful Guy
He has no respect for your marriage, at least that what it looks like. Even if you confront him, you will never know if he stops talking to his old flame. For all you know, he could just change his approach and try to get away with it again. He is using both you and his ex as safety nets, which is a complete selfish and dick move.
You can give him another shot, but that only after confronting him, and forgiving him with all of your heart. If you can't find it in your stomach or your hear to move on from this ordeal and to never think about it again, then you have a chance.
Good luck, I really hope you put yourself first ahead of everyone else in this situation.0
Most Helpful Girl
I would leave him if I were you. I know most people would tell you to work it out, but why? There are no children involved, you've only been married for two years. I would look into getting the marriage annulled due to his involvement with this other woman.
I'm sorry but I don't think he loves either of you. She is also stupid for listening to his BS and sticking around after all this crap. Especially for sleeping with him.
You don't sound like an idiot, he does. And you deserve way more than what he is willing to give you.
BTW, I'm not 100% sure, but pre-cancerous cells on your cervix is from HPV, is it not? Where do you think you got this HPV from? From your no-so-loyal husband, huh?
Work on boosting your immune system (you might want to see a naturopath), burn those mofo's off, and move on from this a-hole.2