So my ex of almost a year broke up with me because she thought the relationship was going nowhere. I tried to get her back by reassuring her that I cared deeply for her and that I did want something long term with her. However, she had already made up her mind and would not take me back. I was very hurt by all this, much more than I ever expected to be. She told me we could remain friends, but I rejected this because I thought it would be too painful. The problem, however, is that we are in somewhat similar social circles.
Anyway, two months of nc passed before I saw her again at a function. It was awkward, brief and cordial between us. I saw her again a week later with mutual friends and we had a friendly chat. Of course, I wanted her back, but I didn't want to be pushy about so I played it cool and friendly. However, there was a dude that hitting on her in front of me and she seemed to be enjoying the attention. I was hurt, but what could I do except be calm? So, instead of getting mad, I kind of decided to get even. I was scene out with mutual friends dating (nothing serious) and socializing with other women. I also thought that if my ex never contacted me, it may well indeed have been hopeless and I should try dating again.
Anyway, when I saw my ex again a month later, I approached her in a friendly manner to ask about her and her family. I was stunned when she responded coldly and rudely towards me. I kept my cool again and took the high road, never responding rudely to her. She apparently was upset that I was scene with women in front of her friends.
Now, I wonder if I had kept low until I was absolutely certain there was no chance with my ex, if I maybe would have had a chance to get back with her. It's been killing me. On the one hand, she said we could be friends, told me she never loved me, then I know that logically I was in the right as far as dating others.
Most Helpful Girl
I will never, ever understand WHY guys, when a girl is into them and wants something real, generally are cool and slow about it. Then when she moves on, after a lot of hurt and trying, suddenly they can't forget her. You kinda blew it. How long did she want more? What did you do in that time, when she DID love you, to step up to the plate and seal the deal? Probably not enough, apparently.
I think that you have NO choice other than to make it 100% CLEAR what you want with her, swallow your pride and dive in - take charge, make up for whatever it is you did to help get things here, if she will give you the chance. You gotta face this head on without fearing rejection - life is short. Live it, enjoy it, and be happy. You will, at least, have an answer that put up with this limbo and not knowing.0