What is going on? I'm so confused!

I need help! Hi guys! I've known this guy for about 8 years now. We dated for about a year when we were younger. he asked me to be his g/f. & I broke up w/ him soon after for some very dumb reasons. I was young & stupid. I knew right away i had made a mistake. But i didn't know what to do. We stopped talking after that. years later, we started talking again. Then we started hanging out. My feelings for him never subsided after all those years. So I went for it! I asked if there was any way we could give our relationship another chance. He turned me down. We stopped talking again for a long time after that. Fast forward to present day. Now we are older, wiser. adults. We somehow start talking again, hanging out, texting etc. After a few months of this, I take another leap. I told him how I felt about him but he said he wanted to remain friends. I never heard from him again after that night. LOW AND BEHOLD! Last month. .. My birthday came along & I get these huuuge gorgeous flowers in a vase sent to my house. They're from him! I contact him to say thank you. & here we go again! The texting, flirting, he even came to see me before I left on a trip last weekend. I kissed him & he kissed me back. The works. But after about a month of all this, I had to be honest. I have feelings for him & this whole pretending to be 'just friends' thing isn't working. I text him letting him know how I feel & I haven't heard from him since. So many mixed signals. Why do all this then just disappear? These aren't things "just friends" fo. I totally thought he liked me too. The flowers, coming to see me, the kiss, the texting all day. Im so lost.
P. s. before you say it, please make note we don't have a sexual relationship. I mean we did before, when we were dating. But I just wanted to make it clear Its not about sex. He has always been very respectful. he's also very shy. He's a big sweetheart. But I just don't understand what's going on...
Thank you in advance!


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What Guys Said 2

  • I feel like your biggest mistake was this:
    "I have feelings for him & this whole pretending to be 'just friends' thing isn't working. I text him letting him know how I feel & I haven't heard from him since."

    Texting is such a horrible medium for this kind of discussion. Face to face is by far the best way to convey your feelings. Although to be fair I don't know how far from each other you guys are.

    • Thank you for your reply. Yeah you're totally right. I thought about that too. He lives about 45 min away. Not too far. But I've done that before. The first time i brought this up was face to face. This time I figured two things: 1) I didn't want to put him on the spot. A text would give him time to process things and think about what he really wants before just answering. 2) Its hard to put myself out there like that too. But now i don't have answers to my questions im sure only he knows. I was so sure he was going to respond to the text. He acts like he likes me. We had already stopped talking. Why come back? Why the flowers? Why come see me? Why put in the effort and then just run away?

    • You might come to realize he's just as confused as you are. I'd say you did your part though and you might gain from distancing yourself from him for a while, even if it's hard.

    • Hmm that's true. I did my part. He hasn't done his. Until then I guess we're just both gonna be confused. I just wanted to see if anyone else had any idea as to what happened. :( thanks again. .

  • Maybe there's more that meets the eye *made that on the spot*
    I maybe young to answer this but i'm one of those guys, i'm pretty sure he's not holding a grudge.
    He may have another girl he likes in his life.
    Or maybe he knows that of he is going to be with you he knows that you guys will probably be together forever and he's not willing to make that commitment yet.
    Or maybe he's just to shy to let out his true colors, instead of flirting on the phone just call him and tell him how you feel.
    If any of this was taking unto advice much smiles will be on my face

    • Thanks for your reply. :) yeah it could be any one of those. Although the 'other girl' part I don't think is the reason. He might very well just not be ready for commitment but then why put in the effort to make me think he is. He knows how I feel about him. He said he wanted to be just friends. We had already stopped talking. It was done. Why bring everything up again. Why send me flowers. Why kiss me. Why come see me. Why the texts and flirting. I dont think "friends" do any of those things. And if he is scared or just not ready. .. why not just tell me be. But to just not say anything at all and just walk away. .. jeez!

    • maybe he just wants sex

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