How would you deal with a complicated break up?

Girl left to be back home. I had a career opp and honestly needed a minute to myself to think. I couldn't focus knowing she was leaving. I figured out real quick the hell with the opp there's others. It was tough on both us... we had been through a lot... ups and downs like everybody but there was a lot love there... very serious. She jumped into a relationship very fast. She was an admitted mess. She even still talked to me still maybe when I should have bailed but I cared. She would say things like I don't tell anybody the things I tell you etc... you've heard it before you can imagine. He dumped her... we kinda got back together. I had recognized a lot of my own faults and was willing to work anything out and make it better. She knew it when we reconciled talking about how amazing it was gonna be this time. Well next thing I know she goes back to the guy. She has a hard time being alone and he's there and obviously she cares for him... i get it. She's younger than me and he's a little younger than her and I was told very clingy. Like anybody who gets there emotions run up like that I didn't so good. She would still call and text here and there. Ofcourse it pushed her away but she never wrote me off. We just don't talk right now. I'm giving it time and handling me. Half of me goes don't be a dip shit move on... the other half goes handle yourself give the bad shit time to heal and let her do her thing and reach out positively when the time is right because you know what the problems were and you want this. I've had other relationships where I didn't like it but knew we wouldn't speak again and was ok with it. This one was completely different. We've never gone more than a month without speaking even when we would break up. I can't fathom it with this one... even if it doesn't work out. Ladies I know some of you have had those that even when things suck sometimes you love that person and that doesn't just go away like that. Or does it?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you need to move on from her. She's swinging back and forth from you to another guy. She can't make up her mind, but your mind is already made up, which means unfortunately you get the short end of the stick :/

    In my experience, the best way to move on is to cut off all contact with her. Not forever, just long enough until you don't care about her anymore, which will be a while but its not the end of the world. :)

    The love will go away with at least a year. Thats what I've experienced.

  • You can't let go of love simply like that... You hold on cause you know she loves you. And you're a special kind, you are willing to let her go and see if she come back all because she has unfinished business. You are doing the right thing. You wouldn't want her to come to you with un finished business. Allow her to clean up her past, how ever it comes. It may look like it now she chose him.. But us women are very complex. Give it time

    • Hope you're right lol. I wasn't willing at first... but I realized it was what it is and had no choice. It is the right thing to do... even when it hurts. My hands are tied... if it's meant it's meant.

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    • She's happy at home. I've had my share of chances. I definitely came around but I had had my share of chances. I honestly don't have a clue. Just gonna keep moving and let time roll on

    • I understand that.. Maybe it's best for now hard to say tho. I know first hand how complicated situations can be. If you believe it's best and forget the past, then so it shall be.. As long as you believe this... I mean it's always that matter of her beliefs, but it doesn't matter right now. I guess I'll say to you with time it becomes easier then she'll be a distant memory, you enjoy your life. We only have one

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