Can ex's who were originally friends go back to being friends?

Question says it, but I was really close to my ex as friends before we dated, how can I go back to that friendship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It can, but not usually.
    - 75% of the time -- NO, not really (at best, just on friendly terms, which is different)
    - 25% of the time -- Yes, but it won't be all that close (unless you're looking to get back together)
    - Of that 25% of the time, if it was a Serious Relationship -- usually will take 1+ years to be Real friends again and not just friendly. Rarely will you be Real Friends shortly after a breakup.

    There's so many factors involved though. If you mutually somewhat happily broke up and on great terms (which is a rare combo) -- the answer is that there's a decent chance of Yes.

    If you Want to be Real Friends (again) shortly after the breakup -- you either want him back OR you feel sorry for him. Both aren't good reasons.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Being you find that you were more Into him as a bud than Now as your 'Stud,' you could say, you are feeling More Comfy with the way things were Then-------Then with the new change that has taken place now.
    In order for things to Not go any further than they have, it's time to have a face to face talk with him. And if he was any kind of friend Before the 'date mate' deal, then he should be understanding as to the way you are feeling now.
    However, if he gives you the impression that it isn't really cool with him, then maybe he is what I call a----Fair weather friend.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Being he was your ex, and you were more at ease with friends, he may be wanting to get back into another relationship. You obviously are not for this anymore... time to have a talk.

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    • so this could be some closure to talk to him face to face about what happened? how long should i wait cuz i dot want him to think i dont value friendship but i dont wanna seem needy yanno? thank you by the way for all this great advice :)

    • If you are the one who wants to go back to friends for now anyway, talk to him very soon... Don't wait... This would be your closure, just hope he understands. You're so welcome, sweetie. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah definitely, it just takes time for both people to get over the relationship. Me and my ex started being friends a year after we broke up and everything is good now, we were together for a year also, so it just takes time and open mindedness

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    • who initiated the contact after the break up? he broke up with me and we had some closure but i dont know if i should text him as friends

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    • I was the one who intiated contact first but that was after I was completely over her and started liking someone else, so I think you should wait until the feelings are completely gone in both parties before you start being friends again. And no problem, it's nice to help out. :)

    • alright that makes sense, its hard to know yanno what the other party wants but I get what you're saying and again thanks :)

  • an ex is an ex for a reason

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What Girls Said 2

  • It is definitely possible :) My ex and I recently broke up and we're going to try to remain friends. We're cutting communication completely until we're over the romantic feelings we had for eachother, you need that time really because even if you think you can ignore how you feel to begin with, you can't. You need to be away from him to get used to not thinking about him the way you used to. Only then can you get back to developing a friendship. My way of thinking is, we were friends for 5 years and dated for 1 year. The friendship is more important to me because we were best friends for longer, it would be such a shame to throw all that away over something that wasn't meant to be.

    I hope you guys can get back to being friends! Just take time, stay away from eachother and come back with a clean slate to try and start a new :)

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    • Out of curiosity, how does a boyfriend (if you have one) view your friendship with an ex?

    • thank you someone who understand the importance of the friendship, i know it takes time but i really dont want him to think i dont wanna talk to him if there NC. was it a mutual decision?

    • @jeremy20 , I don't know who you were asking but in my opinion i think a boyfriend should be able to accept the friendship of his gf with her ex, because he should trust her and let her be friends with who she wants or else it appears as clingy, if there is suspicions then confront her but she should have the right of being friends with her ex

  • yes, it just takes time from both parties. i dated my best friend for a few months one time, and after a while he broke it off out of the blue and i was really upset for a while, but after a while i remembered how much fun i had just hanging out with him and all of our other friends, so i just went back to the group, but both parties have to be open to rekindling the friendship, and if he hangs out with people who are also your friends, don't stop hanging out with your friends just because he's there, just continue doing what you want and eventually things'll most likely get back to normal

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    • this is a similar situation to mine, we have mutual friends and so i won't stop hanging with them but how long did it take for you to fall into normal patterns of hanging with friends?

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    • um it took maybe a month or 2 before i was totally okay with talking to him like normal, and before that month we still exchanged pleasantries and talked and stuff, but we didn't really have anything to really talk about other than small talk and whatever our mutual friends were talking about, but yeah, for me, things started falling back into old patterns kinda quickly i guess, i guess it might depend on what happened to cause the break up, but i don't see any reason a relationship will permanently ruin a friendship! and hush! don't worry! its no problem at all! im glad i could help, even though i didn't really do anything! ^u^ lol

    • mhm its been about a month now and i miss his friendship so i think i should be able to go back to being friends I just dont know how he feels but ahaha you are helpful so thanks :- )

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