Can someone help me understand my ex girlfriend please? (Details inside the message)?

Well my ex and I were dating for over 4 years. (Since high school) I was her first for everything. Everything was going well until this past year. We broke up due to distance, she started talking to someone else immediately and blocked me off of everything. After a few months I started to speak to someone, but nothing ever serious.

After 6 months she contacted me on Tumblr and IG saying she missed me and she wanted to try again, so I agreed. Everything went smooth, until she found out the girl I was speaking to was bi-sexual (which I don't understand why it matters) but so then she broke up with me, and yet again she's immediately talking to someone else, like last time she's bragging about him on social media, she deletes me off of everything, etc. Also like last time the guy is a bum who isn't in college, hardly working, etc.

I just don't get it, can someone explain her terrible logic? Why go back to a trashy guy where it didn't work like last time? Women confuse me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Women are confusing and tends to be moody but guys are sometimes confusing too.

    First of all, if she really loves you she won't leave you and have another guy in an instant considering that you've been dating for years.

    Long distance relationship is hard but it's not enough reason why a girl will give up on you. It's ridiculous.

    But there are things that you might wanna ask yourself too:

    1. Do you love her more than she loves you? (At the span of your relationship)
    >>Maybe she's acting like that on you because she knows you love her so much more than she loves you back.

    2. Can you recall somethings you've done to her that she didn't like? Like cheating and not giving enough time for her?
    >> if yes? Then maybe she can easily find a guy because that's how she copes with the situation (which is not right). And maybe she came back to you because she loves you still, she wanna give it another try.
    >>if no? Then leave her alone. You deserve better.

    3. Do you think your relationship has become boring?
    >>if yes? maybe that's also the reason she quit. I'm not saying it's your fault. In a relationship, it should be give and take. That's how it should work. It's not only the guys to always adjust to girls.
    I think the solution to this is to set rules with your girl and always try different things with her (I'm not saying for you to do this to your ex, you can try this to your next girlfriend)
    >>if no? wth haha.

    So, I think you're a good guy and you deserve someone better. Always remember, we accept the love we think we deserve" #justsaying :-)

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    • Yes I never cheated, but I did behind her back and hung out with female friends when we first started dating. I never told her because she would get jealous. I'm not angel in this, we were on again and off again for a while. The last time she hooked up with a guy she told me she was desperate to have someone. The question is wouldn't she have learned from the last time she tried to quickly date a guy? I did hurt her heart sometimes, when we were first dating I would choose my friends over her, and I liked attention from other people, but all that changed when we got back together, but for some reason she said she couldn't look at me the same way when she found out I was messing around with a bi-sexual girl while we weren't together. I just think it was a scapegoat and all the built-up mistrust from the past that drove her away.

    • I think she haven't learned the lesson yet. Maybe (with her) it just takes time for her to see and realize things up.
      I agree with you. Good luck 👍

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What Girls Said 3

  • I would not say she never loved you or anything like that. Women (can) have a strange attachment to the first guy they've dated. They don't want to be with him but they don't want to lose him forever.

    I would actually let it go. At least for a while. No Contact and not getting back with her, even if she wants to.
    You were her first man and I wouldn't even call it jealousy but deep insecurity. She didn't know better. She didn't have any other experience than with you.

    The question to ask yourself is, if it just confuses you or if it hurts you. Because if it hurts you, it is toxic and you should let go of it.
    If it's ok for you to keep taking her back and it's not actually hurting you deeply, then well... people do strange things, they keep going back to each other out of comfort.

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  • she's using you, get away from her !

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  • She never wanted you, she was just lonely and killing time with you

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