Do I have aright to be sad and upset over this situation, or am I overreacting?

It's not really a "break up" we were never together. This is long distance too (don't make fun, times have changed lol) I met him online and I thought he was cute and funny but didn't have a crush on him or anything. I'm from Los Angeles and he's from Las Vegas, and I go there VERY often with my mom for vacation so that's one reason why I was curious about a long distance thing because I can see him often if we ended up meeting. I started talking to him about a year ago and I added him on Xbox so we can just talk easier. We started off playing and talking on there but not often, then we went a few months without talking, you know, common thing, you lose touch with people. Then about two months ago we started talking again but it became these long convos through out the day and we'd talk until 3 am for a few weeks straight. About three weeks ago now, we were talking on the phone and he goes, "okay I'm gonna go to sleep I'll talk to you tomorrow ok?" Nothing weird, it was just a normal goodnight. The next two days I get no texts so I decided to text him but I get no reply but he'd always reply right away before. He was still online on xbox and I'd try to invite to talk to him but he'd ignore it. Two weeks pass and it's 4th of July and I go on Facebook and it says he got into a relationship the day before on the third and I cried. Do I have the right to be upset? Should I still meet him one day and slap him? What should I do? We were never together but we would flirt often and call each other babe. He's 6'3, college baseball player, nice smile, so I can see that girls would like him. There's no way someone can get into a relationship that quick which makes me believe they were talking before I started talking to him again. I'm sorry this post is long, I'm just mad and sad.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You always have a right to feel how you feel. They are your emotions. Now, did he do anything wrong? I don't know about that. It does sound a little like he might have misled you a bit maybe, but even that is kind of hard to say. He did seem to make a bit of a dick move to just stop talking to you, but that's not surprising from a young guy who might not know how to appropriately deal with the situation. (just takes the easy way out)

    Regardless though, you don't have to ask anybody whether you have a right to feel how you feel. You do, period. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you this go around. I'm sure things will get better for you as things go on. Live and learn, right?

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    • Thanks ): yeah maybe he didn't know how to go about telling me. But still he shod t have not flirted with me if he was interested in this girl. He told me he didn't have a gf for a year and a half and not when I started talking to him he decides to get one. Shit sucks.

    • It does, but you'll find other guys that you'll like. That's just how it goes. Win some, lose some, but at the end of the day if you keep doing you, eventually you find somebody right for you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Understandable and normal to be hurt and upset. Let yourself be sad at what happened.
    Don't waste your time on him anymore and don't reach out to him. Just let it go. The only thing he did wrong was not be up front and honest with you. Guess he wasn't mature enough to break the news to you like a man. You know now, so learn from it and find someone you deserve, want, is there for you and makes you happy. He wasn't it is all.

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  • You have a fair reason to feel lied to. But then again no one tried to make it official right? He probably thought that maybe u weren't that interested. Or he realized long distance relationships typically don't work. And it probably wouldn't. If he's got potential to make baseball a career then he's trying to live a life most people can't have. And u can't blame him for that. Moving on is best but super hard. I'm trying to do that also.

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  • This is why I never "play flirt."

    If you guys called each other babe, then I'd say you guys were technically "talking" and you had a thing going on so I think you have the right to be upset. You don't have the right to slap him though cause you guys never made it official.

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  • Yeah, nothing wrong or weird with feeling upset, but I wouldn't hold a grudge, or think less of him, or think he was dishonest with you. If you haven't even once been physically together, and never made a commitment to each other to try a relationship, can't really blame him for being with someone, even if the timing makes it look like it was happening while you were trying to see what could become of you two.

    Long distance relationships are extremely difficult. Takes a special situation with two people wired right for it to work. I've known some that have, and I have known some that haven't worked out.

    Just accept he wasn't your man, realize you're not wrong to have hoped for more, understand it's normal to be hurt by what happened, and maybe you'll be able to move on from there.

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What Girls Said 3

  • First off, I'm sorry to hear all this, I know it can be upsetting. Especially when it comes as such a shock like that with no warning signs of another girl in the picture. It sounds like he might have gotten into the relationship which is why he stopped talking to you the first, and then second time. Maybe he keeps coming back to you as a safety? You have a right to be upset, technically he didn't have to do anything wrong, but its common curtsy to at least say "I don't think we should talk anymore," or "I met someone here where I live" which would just let you put your mind to ease, even though its not what you wanted to hear. I don't think you have a right to be mad at him for WHAT he did, more so HOW he did it. But at this point, I wouldn't waste any more time on him :) He sounds like a good catch, but there are plenty of guys out there who will hopefully treat you a little better :) Give yourself a few days to feel bad, and then pick yourself up and start moving forward. Go out with friends, get your nails done, watch a movie, just do something to take your mind off of it :) Good luck!

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    • Thanks this gave me reassurance. I kind if felt like a loser for trying about it ON THE FOURTH OF July but oh well. We were fairly close, he even gave me his address. It was just all so sudden. I deactivated my Facebook right away instead of deleting him because for some reason I felt better that way and I didn't want him to delete me. I mean we were pretty good friends before this, we've never fought once. I was planning to stay away from Facebook and go back two months later or so and show him how happy I am (when I get there again) but I guess it's a lame idea lol

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    • Well thank you for your kind words and advice ma'am (: this made me feel better. All I can do is wish the best for them and be an adult about it.

    • Any time :) I'm glad to hear that. And that's a really great mentality to have about this all! I'm sure everything will work out well for you :)

  • You said it yourself that y'all were never together. Maybe he was under the impression that you only liked him as a friend. Do you feel like you were led on? Have you talked about your feelings to each other before this happened?

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    • Yeah he told me he really liked me and he wants me to go see him. I let him know I liked him. I was already planning to go in August because my mom wanted to go on vacation.

    • Oka so he said he would like to see you and he likes you, but has have you ever had girlfriend/boyfriend like future talk or were you going to see what it was like to be around each other first?

  • It's alright to be sad, but no you can't slap him :P

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