Why did he choose another girl over me (interracial/insecurity - sensitive yet dominant guy)?

I was seeing a guy and we had an instant connection, and so much chemistry and understanding of each other. He was very aware and sensitive as I am. He told me a week after seeing each other that he was in love with me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I was confused. The next day he said that he rushed things and wanted to take it slow and I agreed. He had 2 months prior broken up with his ex of 3 years who he still worked with and I could tell while we were seeing each other that he was still hurt and healing. We saw each other for a year and a half without the label. I met his friends and parents and family and we all got along really well, and he told me that everyone really like me. I could tell that he was afraid to be vulnerable. But he did say that he was falling for me, and wasn't not ready for everything I had to offer yet. I know we were a bit different because he was really scared of taking emotional risks, and putting himself out there and letting people in. He was insecure in private and said he wasn't good enough, and I always reassured him of what he was worth and the qualities I loved about him. Things were going really well. Leading up to the end we went on 3 dates in a row, and I gave him a bracelet with his name on it that I got from Cuba. And he seemed really touched, and surprised at how much I loved him. He always told me I was beautiful, but he was insecure about being in a relationship with me with a label because I'm South Asian, and he's a white country boy who hadn't been exposed to other cultures, but it was honestly just my skin, because we grew up in the same small town in the same way and had a lot in common. Out of the blue, he changed his relationship status on facebook. I msgd him excitedly, was he making things official with us? Then I found out he decided to be with someone else. I ended communication, but he started texted me and calling me none stop right after he told me :/ What was going on with him emotionally?
  • He didn't love me and wanted to be with someone else?
    Vote A
  • He was afraid about how much he cared about me, so he dated someone else?
    Vote B
  • He didn't like being with me.
    Vote C
  • He didn't think I was worth much.
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
He was first attracted to me cause I'm exotic looking, but after talking and a year and a half of being together, things changed. I knew he had developed "something" for me inside, so I'm surprised he chose someone else. Anyone get him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • B was my best guess but it's hard to tell cause I have heard that Asian family are a lot like Italian family in way they feel about out sider. I mean that if you're Asian then your parents aren't going to want you to date other Asians and I know that's probably only a stereotype but maybe he heard the samething and didn't want to make you choose between your family and him. There could be a lot of reasons why but my best advice is to talk to and find out at least that way you get some closer on the hole thing and maybe you can still be best friends

    • I see where you're coming from. Thanks for responding. The thing is my family is very liberal, as in he stayed at my place for family day weekend, and we could sleep in my room together and have sex and everything. His family is the same way. And he knew all this, so I don't get the issue. I asked him after and he said he still had feelings, but being with me would complicate things. I asked him how because literally we were doing that for a year and a half, and he said it just would. I think it was mainly his parents in his head. I heard his mom mention she wanted blonde babies with blue eyes, and his dad said he should just have fun with girls, but I never got that vibe when him and I were together. He seemed pretty serious.. I was loving, and caring, and understanding, supportive, but not overly nice when he was being grumpy. I don't understand why he thought that was worth losing...

    • It does sound like maybe it was his parents well I wish you the best and hope you find a guy that appreciate what you have to offer

Most Helpful Girl

  • From what I am seeing, his Family may have had a hand in this along the way, for you know families talk and advise one another in certain situations.
    After some time and '3 dates in a row,' he finally had made up his mind. And being in a relationship from before, he was still licking his wounds, so you may, too, have been his little Rebound for awhile. So no, he most likely wasn't Into Any 'Label.'
    And with the hooked at the hip ''Bracelet' bond, it may have scared him even More into making one of the hardest decisions in his life. However, with changing his 'Status on Facebook' so Quickly is telling me he had someone 'Else he was stringing along while with you, in his own back ground----A white country girl, I would imagine.
    He most likely couldn't handle the 'culture' shock, I am seeing this. He had feelings for you, things got confusing, and as I say, his Family, although liked you, may have given him some advice on the way.
    As far as the 'After effects,' he may be feeling guilty and will always 'Emotionally' have a special place for you as his special friend in his heart.
    Good luck. xx


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Interracial dating/sex is usually experimentation for them.


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