Most Helpful Guy
You must not ignore your instincts. It sounds like your family has a history of listening to their hearts alone.
I have news for you, the heart WILL deceive you.
But your instincts never will. People often ignore their instincts, because they douse freezing cold, angry water all over your heart's emotions. So people ignore them... At their own peril.
If you seek God, if you stop thinking you are "fine", and do what the Father says, you WILL meet the guy who He has for you. How will you know when you meet him? your heart, and your instincts will come into perfect alignment.
You will know, in your heart, mind, and spirit, that he is the man who is going to spend the rest of his life with you.
Things you should avoid...
Sex. At all costs. I dated a wonderful lady who ignored all of my flaws because she was in love with me. When we broke up, she told me everything that now, suddenly bothered her about me. I asked her, why didn't you tell me before? She said she was blinded by love. We had not had sex. Imagine how much more you will become blinded to a man's flaws if you let him sleep with you. It will destroy your marriage even before it ever begins.
Listening to your heart alone. How many times has your heart told you, that a famous pop singer, or actor, or whomever- would be your ideal mate? Your heart will deceive you. Listen to your instincts.
Work on yourself. This is the hardest part. You MUST challenge EVERYTHING you think you know. Look at it from a Godly perspective... God has helped me and healed me in ways I couldn't imagine. That is why I recommend you seek Him. He knows things we never could.
Being in pens with 100% pure wolves, and being locked in with them, essentially, has helped me to hone my ability to hear my instincts. Red flags... Your instincts will tell you things you could never know otherwise. He is a liar. He is a cheater. He is married. Etc.