How to avoid divorce/ good components of a partner?

In my family my grandparents are divorced my 6 aunts and uncles are divorced and my parents are divorced and I feel like there is not a good example being set. So what are the components of a good marriage? How to know any red flags in a relationship?


0|0
17

Most Helpful Guy

  • You must not ignore your instincts. It sounds like your family has a history of listening to their hearts alone.

    I have news for you, the heart WILL deceive you.

    But your instincts never will. People often ignore their instincts, because they douse freezing cold, angry water all over your heart's emotions. So people ignore them... At their own peril.

    If you seek God, if you stop thinking you are "fine", and do what the Father says, you WILL meet the guy who He has for you. How will you know when you meet him? your heart, and your instincts will come into perfect alignment.

    You will know, in your heart, mind, and spirit, that he is the man who is going to spend the rest of his life with you.

    Things you should avoid...

    Sex. At all costs. I dated a wonderful lady who ignored all of my flaws because she was in love with me. When we broke up, she told me everything that now, suddenly bothered her about me. I asked her, why didn't you tell me before? She said she was blinded by love. We had not had sex. Imagine how much more you will become blinded to a man's flaws if you let him sleep with you. It will destroy your marriage even before it ever begins.

    Listening to your heart alone. How many times has your heart told you, that a famous pop singer, or actor, or whomever- would be your ideal mate? Your heart will deceive you. Listen to your instincts.

    Work on yourself. This is the hardest part. You MUST challenge EVERYTHING you think you know. Look at it from a Godly perspective... God has helped me and healed me in ways I couldn't imagine. That is why I recommend you seek Him. He knows things we never could.

    Being in pens with 100% pure wolves, and being locked in with them, essentially, has helped me to hone my ability to hear my instincts. Red flags... Your instincts will tell you things you could never know otherwise. He is a liar. He is a cheater. He is married. Etc.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • Yeah, date more and marry later, that way you can try and try and try until you know what you're looking for. The problem with spontaneous marriages is, if your partner doesn't work for you, years of misery will follow until you eventually do divorce. Also, I'd say that a dysfunctional marriage is a product of laziness and ignorance - it's a team effort, and it's really worthwhile to resolve differences and to strengthen bonding. Unfortunately, people are brutes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Pick a good mate that is a mature adult when it comes to finances and resolving fights between the two of you.
    If things work out, you commit to him.
    Once you commit, don't look at divorce as an option. If it's broken, fix it. Don't just throw it in the trash.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'd strongly suggest that you don't get married until you've been in a sexual relationship with your partner for at least 4 years. Look for any sign of problems during that time.

    This could help too psychcentral.com/.../

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just have sex on a weekly basis and keep within 5 pounds of the weigh you where when you started dating. If he doesn't, MAKE HIM LOSE DAT WEIGHT!!! My old friend and his gf where very fit they got married and she just gained sooooo much weight, he said he doesn't find her attractive anymore and it really effected their marriage. Plus its always good to stay healthy

    0|0
    0|0
    • That wasn't exactly what I was asking but that's part of the answer I guess... So thanks

  • Looking for flaws is the wrong mindset. If you want to avoid divorce, just don't do it no matter what.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I mean like my mom ignored the things my father did like lied once or twice, stood her up, etc and she just easily forgive him cuz he said he was sry and now after 20+ years of marriage they are divorced and I feel like I'm destined to end up divorced

    • Well do what everyone is doing. LTR without marriage.

  • Communication is the root of a relationship. I think if people would learn to talk about their issues as soon as they arise rather than hoping it'll go away, we'd see the divorce rate drop rapidly. If you notice tension in your relationship, address it immediately and don't give it the chance to fester.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • don't argue a lot. my parents argue so much and my dad is always threatening to divorce my mother. only reason he stays with her is because she has all the money and no one else would fuck my a**hole child molestor of a dad but my mother.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;