My long term boyfriend of 8 years was having an emotional affair with another girl for almost 2 years and I caught him and read through his bbm messages. One of the messages I read he tells her he loves me but he finds me immature and that it annoys him and it keeps getting worse. he said he's tried talkign to me about it but I dont listen or think it's a problem and that I dont want to change (its true we do have this convo but i really dont see how I am immature). He also said it turns him off that I act immature.
Why would he say this about me?
I exported his BBM messages to my computer, then I confronted him about it a few days ago. He couldn't deny it because after I exported his messages I printed them all out to show him so that he couldn't delete them. After I showed him he kept quiet and said "maybe we should take a break". We haven't spken in 3 days and all I've been doing is reading through their messages.
why would he say this about me? i'm trying to figure out if I go back to him or not after this break.
WHAT DO I DO?
I'm so miserable and lost I've been with him since high school. I don't know what to do. He said he loves me but we should takea break. I just dont kow what to do
Most Helpful Guy
I think you need to speak with him about it if you're considering resuming things after you're time apart. I would ask him why he feels this way (if you haven't already) and try to see things objectively. If you still feel his comments are unjust, explain why you feel differently but try and not make it into an argument, just an expression of why you both feel the way you do. He's entitled to his opinion but it's only his opinion.
Someone once explained to me that all successful relationships require good, honest communication along with mutual trust. I also think an important part of a relationship is compromise (within reason). I wouldn't compromise my morals but my behaviour, sure, especially if I can see it's upsetting the person I love.
Sometimes issues like yours can be resolved by talking about the problem and working together to reach some middle ground. Sometimes two people just grow apart and no amount of compromise is sufficient to meet both persons' needs but if you don't talk about it, you'll never know.
I would definitely stop torturing yourself by going over every message they sent to each other though. A lot of meaning is lost via text anyway so you could be reading more into it than is really there and making yourself feel worse.
I hope that helps and I hope you manage to get to a place where you can move forward with your life :)0