Messaged girls on craigslist browsed, girlfriend found out. Is it over?

So I completely messed up I sent messages and some photos to girls on craigslist. I never had any intention of meeting them it was just some strange fantasy, taboo thing that I got off on maybe attention? Anyway it happened and I messed up I breached her trust hurt the girl I love more than anything. She's not responding to any calls or messages I have lost her. I offered to take a polygraph to prove I never met or slept with anyone else while we dated, do you think I should also send my email passwords and Facebook login. I want her back I want to marry her I want a family with her she's my heart and soul. I don't know what I was thinking it just seems so crazy I'd risk everything for this. Her trust was already shaken as we had a rocky start and now I fear this is the final straw I am preparing to never see her again we had a summer planned together she's my best friend, I'm such an idiot.
I am going to give her space that she obviously needs and wants, I really messed up I breached her trust and the integrity of what we had, hopefully I can salvage something and put us backtogeth. I know she is all I want I've known it the whole time.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you loved her so much then you shouldn't have done it in the first place. You need to learn how to communicate and be open about things that your not satisfied with. Once you lose trust from a women it's really hard to gain it back cause that's all she will be thinking and it will be miserable for you both. Take this as a lesson learned.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First, most importantly, you're lucky none of the girls on craigslist have responded, I'd say the majority of these posts are done by professional scammers - it worked on me once, so you should be happy it didn't happen to you. Second, I'm not sure how to help you with your girl, but seeing as she's the unforgiving type, it could be like talking to a wall when you're expressing genuine concern - if I were you, I'd find a mutual friend, say an uncle in law, or her cousin that likes you, and have her be the middleman/woman.

    Next, I came to notice that you fantasized. This doesn't make you an idiot, it means that the relationship failed to meet your expectations. If you're wandering around, maybe it's for the best. I personally think it's plausible, and forgive my ignorance, that you did what you did because you're dissatisfied with your relationship, albeit being in love with your gf. I'd say, instead of getting back with her, consider whether these thoughts at the back of your mind were trying to tell you something - are you looking for a girl who's more adventurous? Maybe you want an open relationship? Explore these options before you end up going back to square one (having intrusive thoughts about fantasies but being unable to complain because you're torn between love and fantasy). It sucks, but think it over. And stop being sad, you didn't do anything wrong, it's part of human nature.

    • It was a boredom thing when she wasn't around and I was browsing online for p*rn or whatever, sometimes I'd occasionally take a look on craigslist. It didn't matter that the girls never responded? I just need to leave her to process what's happened I know her friends will not have my corner I messed up, if I'd sat there and considers the damage I would never have sent a message or even been on there

    • Move on, your life isn't over. It feels traumatizing that you lost your love, but hey, all is not gone. So far as you're alive, who knows who you'd meet, all the good times ahead. This one will blow right past you.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Yep you messed up, broke her trust. Only she knows whether it's truly over, all you can do it wait, give her time

  • It looks like she's not giving you a second chance

  • Wow you're an asshole. I thought at first you were just a young guy, but it says your between 30-35. I have no sympathy for you. You're old enough to know better. Loser.

  • You deserve it.


What Guys Said 1

  • You cheated on her emotionally.
    She rightfully dumped you.
    ... and now you want to fix it?
    Get a grip. It's over. And it's all your fault.
    If you were 18, there might be some chance. But these tactics at 30--35 are inane.
    Sending passwords is a bad idea. It shows desperation, not honesty.
    Take a lie-detector test? Who are you trying to kid?

    Um... if she's your heart and soul, you'd never have cheated on her.
    Yes, you are such an idiot.

    • That is like saying watching p*rn is cheating, it was just an alternative to p*rn. I get what I did was unacceptable however when taken in the context I was viewing it in I did not consider the damage or the consequences! Yes I agree I don't deserve her I messed up.

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