So I completely messed up I sent messages and some photos to girls on craigslist. I never had any intention of meeting them it was just some strange fantasy, taboo thing that I got off on maybe attention? Anyway it happened and I messed up I breached her trust hurt the girl I love more than anything. She's not responding to any calls or messages I have lost her. I offered to take a polygraph to prove I never met or slept with anyone else while we dated, do you think I should also send my email passwords and Facebook login. I want her back I want to marry her I want a family with her she's my heart and soul. I don't know what I was thinking it just seems so crazy I'd risk everything for this. Her trust was already shaken as we had a rocky start and now I fear this is the final straw I am preparing to never see her again we had a summer planned together she's my best friend, I'm such an idiot.
Most Helpful Guy
First, most importantly, you're lucky none of the girls on craigslist have responded, I'd say the majority of these posts are done by professional scammers - it worked on me once, so you should be happy it didn't happen to you. Second, I'm not sure how to help you with your girl, but seeing as she's the unforgiving type, it could be like talking to a wall when you're expressing genuine concern - if I were you, I'd find a mutual friend, say an uncle in law, or her cousin that likes you, and have her be the middleman/woman.
Next, I came to notice that you fantasized. This doesn't make you an idiot, it means that the relationship failed to meet your expectations. If you're wandering around, maybe it's for the best. I personally think it's plausible, and forgive my ignorance, that you did what you did because you're dissatisfied with your relationship, albeit being in love with your gf. I'd say, instead of getting back with her, consider whether these thoughts at the back of your mind were trying to tell you something - are you looking for a girl who's more adventurous? Maybe you want an open relationship? Explore these options before you end up going back to square one (having intrusive thoughts about fantasies but being unable to complain because you're torn between love and fantasy). It sucks, but think it over. And stop being sad, you didn't do anything wrong, it's part of human nature.1