For girls, if your bf cheated on you & you feel so much pain and have trust issues but yet you still love him so much, will you get back with him?

Well my gf broke up with me because she found out I cheated and she doesn't trust me at all, she says she still loves me so much and that I was her first in everything, but she feels so much pain and she is really scared that I will hurt her again. And I've tried convincing her that I won't because I really do love her and I want to make things right. She decided to leave me but I just can't let her go it's really hard for me. She won't answer my calls or texts. I really want to get her back:(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Why did you cheat on her?

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    • We really weren't together we were on and off, and she considers it cheating because when she would leave me I would mess around with another girl, but she was talking to other people too it's really complicated but for 6 months she did put up with my $&%# and I want to make things right with her

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    • She doesn't sound like a very nice person to be honest

    • I know that it sucks though

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • I heard someone say once that if u break a mirror, u could glue it back together but you will always see the cracks. I think that's pretty true. She might forgive but never forget. Personally I would move on and start new with someone else cause I would never trust u again

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    • Yeah, just sucks because I really love her and I know I messed up big time but I really want to make things right:/
      It's hard to let her go...

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    • Just focus on yourself for now and someone else will come along when your not looking.

    • Yeah that's what ima do
      Thanks

  • Not sure what to believe but you also said in the comments you were on and off with each other, so if you were with someone while you took a break from each other that is definitely not cheating... and if it's true she was talking to other people too, why is she saying you cheated? you didn't, plus you both seem to be distracted by other people instead of actually truly getting it together with each other which means your hearts are not really in this, so why continue it when you know your not right for each other? Be honest with yourselves... if your hearts not in it then don't stay out of fear of being alone, if you both really loved each other your hearts would really be in it but to me it really doesn't sound that way, you just like like 2 different people wanting different things, it happens.

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    • It's a really long story and it sounds like a mess, and well it's usually when she wants me I don't want it, and when I want it she doesn't, and I really want to break that cycle with her. The girl I would mess around with I ended up with her and we lasted six months and my ex was talking to me and she was telling she loved me and was willing to stick around and well I would tell her that I was gonna break up with the girl it lasted six months my ex was there for those six months. I didn't break up with the girl sooner bc she was really in love with me and I didn't want to break her heart, but I was also breaking my ex heart too. And well now that I broke up with the girl, my ex got with me but then she was like that she has trust issues, and I really want to prove it to herthat she is the only one for me. It sounds like the shittiest relationship ever but if there's a chance to fix it I would take it

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    • Yeah I honestly believe there's always someone for everybody, your still young! I'm turning 21 on September:o yeah I get you I feel like that too like I want to be serious but when I think of my future I feel like I need time for myself to reach my full potential but then I feel like I need my ex too, after her I don't even want to date I just want to focus on my schoo. ANd do all the things I said I will accomplish, don't worry hey focus on your stuff and get things done at one point Mr right will come trust, you sound pretty chill to talk to I don't see why it would be hard. Don't lose hope, you got this:)

    • Lol we all feel like this for a while, we turn 18 and were apparently "officaly" an adult but not really... because time goes so fast to even keep up with and everyone excepts us to act all "adult" like just because were over 18 or over but truth is we don't even know ourselves yet even at 24 or 25 but then our parents keep nagging at us to get a job and do this and that but they never realize were just not ready yet. All so difficult i know... we all go through it although with being young not many feel anyone really understands because people our age act so judgmental and assume stuff and pretend they understand us, but they still keep trying to be "popular" but after 20 chasing after it becomes hopeless lol i never did of course as i knew it was only a temporary phase for people, but people in their 20s still wonder why not everyone likes them all the time haha, oh dear... what a funny stage this is.

  • Honestly, once trust is broken like that it's almost impossible to regain. There's nothing you can say or do at this point to make her trust you. Some girls take cheaters back, some don't. My advice to you would be to back off her because I can assure you every call or text you send right now is only making her hurt worse. If she decides she wants you back she'll let you know but all I can say to you is just make sure you never make the same mistake again. Is 5 minutes of pleasure worth losing a lifetime of happiness with someone you love?

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    • Yeah I mean man me and her been through a lot, we've both done mistakes but I've always forgave her, sucks but I have to face my consequences

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    • Yeah your right I am gonna give her time I've called her like 10 times today lol i don't want to seem like a creep either, ima give her space hopefully she misses me:/
      Thanks for the advice!

    • You're welcome. Hope thinks work out for you

  • Trust is major factor in starting or in you case restarting a relationship so of the girl can't trust you any more i don't think love will be enough reason for her accept you again. But who knows she might give you another chance but im telling you now earning her trust back will not be easy and she would always be suspicious of you. So good luck

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  • I think you should really let her go. You're not doing her any favor by trying to get back with her. Do you really want a woman that takes a cheater back instead of actually having a backbone and saying to herself ''No, this isn't the way someone that loves me should treat me, I'm settling for less by taking him back''?

    If she takes you back, you might even lose respect for her because in my opinion a person that takes back someone that cheated would be someone I see as a doormat that doesn't love him/herself that much, probably thinks they can't get better and are afraid of ending up alone.

    To answer your question, no I wouldn't get back with him because that's now the type of love I demand and I never deserve that type of treatment. Staying with a man that cheated on me would be the same as if I were ordering an elegant dish on a restaurant and they served me leftover and when complaining about it, I were to be told ''I know but that's all we have''. Basically, by accepting that mediocre dish, I'm accepting less than what I wanted. Same thing with cheating. That's not what I want in a relationship, that's not what I look for in a guy either (same as he wouldn't want that in a woman) so why shouldn't I demand the same in return?

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    • Yeah you have a point but people do change, if my ex would take me back I wouldn't cheat on her ever again because I woukdnt want to lose her ever again. Yeah nobody should ever cheat especially when there in love and have something really special going on, but people do mistakes, your gonna tell me you've never done a mistake and tried fixing it.

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    • Now you want to respect her wishes and don't insist on her taking you back. If she doesn't want to you to contact her, then don't. If she wanted to take you back and not respect herself than she would. Until now, it's better that you don't contact her.

    • Well yeah I mean if I keep calling her she might end up annoyed of me and I don't want that, thanks by the way.!

  • Yes, but he would have to gain my trust again, but I would take him back. Of course I would make him work twice as hard for my trust though. But like they say "Love Conquers All". These elderly couples that have been married for decades probably have gone through rough patches, but to give up on a relationship that is going through some rough patches, is pointless. I invest time in my relationships, not ending three years over something we can get over. This is just my opinion btw.

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    • I wish my ex had the same thinking you do, honestly I would do anything to show my ex that I really do love her but she doesn't even answer my calls anymore, little by little I'll let her go

    • Yeah, maybe you just have to let her gain your trust. Show her you changed. That might mean giving her some space. If it's meant to be, it will work out.

  • Id never trust him again. We could be friends but never have a relationship

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  • If I were her, I would probably get back together with you but like have a radar going 24/7.

    it really hurts when someone cheat on you and there's a chance she'll never fully trust you again, you should tell her why you cheated and keep lies out of the relationship, earn back her trust.

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    • Hahaha a radar, if she wanted to GPS me she could because I don't have anything to hide, I know it's not easy and it's always scary to let someone have your heart but man I love my ex I would do anything, but she doesn't pick up my calls:/ I guess she is done with me:(

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    • She lives 4 hours away, and I just don't want to make things worse, if she doesn't want to answer my calls what makes you think she wants to see me

    • maybe she's scared she'll accept you back into her life. maybe give her some air but try texting her or leaving a message on her cell in a day or two starting with an explanation, then tell her how much you regret it, but give her time to think

  • I personally wouldn't. You know the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? I kinda live by that. It all depends on peoples views towards cheating, i guess.

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    • Yeah I get you, not everyone is like that. There are some people that do change, I mean if nut ex took me back and actually wanted to make it work man would I do anything to prove it to her and show her she is my world!

  • Nope the trust is already broken
    You can't fix anything

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What Guys Said 2

  • The first thing you need to do is to STOP calling and texting her for a while. Yes, this WILL be hard. Figure this is necessary for at least about a month. If you find yourself reaching for your phone, and thinking about texting her, remind yourself that she hasn't been bothering to reply to you, anyways. You need this space from her right now.

    While you are taking a break from even trying to get her back, you need to seriously evaluate if she is even worth it. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but a girl that flips out like that when you aren't seriously involved, and gets furious when you get with other girls when you're "off again?" Not the kind of woman I would personally put up with.

    Take this break, and just involve yourself in people and things that are of benefit to you now and in the future. You aren't getting her back right now, no matter what you say, what you do, and how much you try to get her attention.

    Who knows? Maybe someday you'll meet a girl that can give you what you need, and maybe she'll meet a man that can do that for her. Maybe later on you two can figure out how to make a relationship work. Just understand this cannot, will not, and even should not happen for you two right now.

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    • Your right honestly I just needed someone to just tell me this bro. Thanks a lot man, and yeah I gave up for right now because man justtthinking that she is looking at my calls and not bother to answer hurts. I'm gonna give her space if it's meant to be it's meant to be, when I really do think of how she was I could honestly say I always cared more than she did and that's what gets to me, man this is my lesson learned
      Thanks man!

    • Glad I could help you out. You're gonna be alright.

  • What have you done you anonymous son of a bitch? Go get her back bro. NOW! I don't care if you have to play guns and roses from a radio under her window.

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    • Lol bro I've been trying trust! I've called her like 10 times today and text her she doesn't reply or call me back at all, I guess she really is done with me already:/ sucks bro

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