I feel the spark in my relationship goes everytime my gf threatens to break up with me if i'm not successful I feel less motivated to be romantic?

Is this normal me and my gf are 21 and have been together on and of for 2 years, when i say everytime she threatens to break up with me i mean that as in it happens frequently maybe even once a month.

here's the situation were both at university in our first year i'm studying law she is studying Chemistry, she is super motivated and eventhough all you have to do is pass this year (it doesn't count as part of our final degree grade) she achieved top marks in each subject and is always talking about her future career etc. I am more laid back i want to be a lawyer but i'm not 100% sure yet, i did fail a couple exams which i have to resit due to not being 100% focused and on the ball but i have been an A grade student all my life so i'm sure in 2nd year once our grades count i will work harder etc.

Anyway she always threatens to break up with me over this though, saying i'm not serious enough for her, i won't be sucessful enough for her, if i'm not sucessful she can't be with me, why does she deserve someone who isn't successful when she works hard. Bear in mind i tell her she is beautiful everyday do nice things for her, she said i'm the only bf she has had who cares about her personality i truly love her and she appreciates this. Yet she continuously dumps me over her belief i won't be successful enough for her. She dumped me the first time after a year and then we got back together for a month she dumped me again same reason, now were back together it's been a month and she is threatening breaking up again.

At the start of the relationship i felt so in love like i would take her to restaurants by her things just to see her happy and smile but once she started threating a break up which was like 4 months into our first year long relationship all that sweetness and romance was zapped out of me, same thing is happening now we have been so happy the past month but now she has started again all the romance has zapped out of me it's like i have my guard up?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should seriously consider if the two of you are fit to be together. One of you is going to have to make an effort (a big one) eventually, if you really want the couple to hold, otherwise one of you is going to snap, or you'll both live unhappily ever after.
    It's not so much about telling your girlfriend she's pretty (though it is important, don't get me wrong), but taking in account what she asks of you, as she should take into account what you ask of her. If neither of you is willing to make an effort, then perhaps you shouldn't stay together.
    But I would advise discussing the problem with her :)

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What Girls Said 4

  • If the girl can't deal with you being as you are in school, then she does not love you. I mean I would support my bf no matter what. I just want him to be happy and do his best for himself and not for me lol. But maybe I am the only one that thinks this way...

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  • It doesn't sound like this relationship isn't really going anywhere. In my opinion any couple that breaks up frequently like you guys do shouldn't be together in the first place. Also she doesn't seem like a very good girlfriend if she's constantly putting you down like that. Instead of saying your not going to be successful and breaking up with you she should be helping you figure out what you want to do or helping you study, talking to you rationally about the situation, expressing her concerns. In my opinion she's acting immature and maybe you should rethink the relationship.

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  • If you're still not 100% sure what you want to do then that's fine. She should be there for you and be understanding that it's you're life and still deciding what you what you're career to be. Next time she threatens to break up with you shit break up with her first. If she truly cared for you she wouldn't be on you're ass or threating constantly to break up with you. I'm not surprised the sparks have left, I would've felt the same way.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Next time she threatens to break up. Call her bluff.

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  • Same advice as yesterday, Call her bluff and break up with her.

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