I am going to hang out with my ex twice this week - any advice?

My ex and I (he broke up with me at the end of May - nothing bad happened, he's going through a divorce and having issues), have plans to see each other twice this week. First on Wed night (he invited me to his cocktail party) then again on Saturday night for dinner and to hang out. I am excited but nervous - I don't want to get carried away by my feelings here. Any advice for me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is your ex for a reason plus he's going through a divorce
    and having issues so he is still attached his soon to be ex-wife
    he broke up with you the end of May, doesn't that give you sign?
    The guy has issues your gullible and you want be loved so
    your falling for a guy whose got baggage , do you honestly think
    this will last with you and him, I don't see nothing good coming
    out of it? My advice treat him as a best friend don't get your hopes
    built up on him cause this guy gives me bad vibes i can see it so
    play it cool but just be a friend to him

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    • I agree - even if he wanted to get back together, he will still be emotionally unavailable. I think it's a case of "I don't want a relationship but I want to keep you close anyway" kind of thing on his part - selfish. He knows he hurt me and that we had a good thing going, but we are on different paths right now. It's not because we didn't care about each other. Plus he gave up his job to become a full time artist and wants to live like a vagabond, pick up and travel the world whenever he wants (he has no kids and I have a son). Plus he is 11 years older than me (he's 40).

    • I am sure there is feelings for this guy, just play things cool and I wish you the best with him

    • Thank You For Most Helpful;) xD

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What Guys Said 2

  • Don't go. He is an ex. Until he gets all his stuff straightened out and is committed to a relationship with you and only you and can grow with you, I would stay away from him.
    He will put a move on looking for a piece and hurt you more.
    Let exes stay exes.
    Move forward with your life, not looking back.

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    • I know, but he has been coming on so strong wanting to get together so he can hear about my vacation, inviting me to his party, emailing me- it's not about sex (he had a hernia operation so he can't have sex for a while). I told him I didn't want to be friends and he kept coming at me anyway. So I don't know if he wants to get back together but isn't thinking things through or he just wants to still have me around even though he knows he cannot get into a committed relationship - very selfish. What do you think?

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    • Your advice is very sound and wise. Thank you for not telling me what I want to hear:)

    • You are very welcome. Hope the best for you.

  • If he's your ex, there's a reason for it.
    Thus don't let your rendez-vous interfere with moving on.

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    • I know... It's very confusing. I think he's wanting his cake and eating it too kind of thing... even if he wanted to get back together, the same issues are there (he's emotionally unavailable now). I will see how it goes and have a talk with him at the end, I may not be able to have this kind of contact with him right now.

What Girls Said 2

  • I am going through a similar experience. He is going through a nasty divorce and is not emotionally healthy enough for a relationship-even though he thinks he is. I broke up with him. Have no contact with this man. If he gets through the divorce and gets his head straight and comes back for a 2nd chance then see where it leads from there. Until then, no contact.

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  • Just keep in mind that you're there for him, not to be with him.

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    • It's going to be hard to spend time with someone when we have feelings but can't continue with the relationship. Not sure how this will play out. It sounded like he maybe wanted to reconnect but not sure. I am also wary of him wanting his cake and eating it too, it's not fair to me.

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