My ex of 7 years is ill. What should I do?

My ex is potentially very sick. She'll have testing done soon. We recently broke up for good after 7 years and a child. She has been deceitful and has hidden things for the past 4 years which has caused us to be off and on. I've tried looking past it all and making it work but she continues to hide things ans lie. I finally decided to move on. Now she's messaging me and calling b/c she might be very sick. I don't know how to handle this. She's proven to me that she would rather talk and be with everyone else but now she wants me attention when she had it fully for so long. Why should I care now? Shouldn't she ask one of her new "boy toys" to sit with her at the hospital or emergency room? It feels unfair to me emotionally to pull me in when times are hard but diss me when things are good. I want to be there for her b/c I still. love her ans care, but I don't want to be used as her emotional dumpster. What do you think?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry, what a difficult situation to be in.

    I agree with you, it is so unfair for her to take advantage of you and manipulate her way back into your life. She's mistreated you for a very long while and now expects you to be by her side? That's doesn't sound right to me.

    As much as you care about her, you deserve to put yourself first. I'd only pay her one visit if she does become very ill and you feel it will give you peace of mind. Good luck.

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What Girls Said 6

  • You can forgive someone but that does not mean that you have to still be a part of their life. You can't do people wrong and expect them to always be there just because you know they still love you. I understand that she is sick, but I would be cautious of her using you.

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  • i think it unfair for you, send her a get well card, and visit her with one one of your girlfriends. and call it a day, because if you visit her by yourself, there is no telling what would happen. b. s find out if it HIV and get tested, cause you never know, you said she slept around. right?

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  • As long as your are being a good Father you don't need to support her emotionally and when she feels the need!

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  • I know she put you through a lot but you have to remember you are better than that.
    You are better than the way she treat you.
    She is the Mother of your child.
    Visit her in the hospital as respect for the kid you two have together.
    It takes a strong man to put personal feelings aside.
    Wish her well, and leave it as that.
    imagine if she were dead the effect that would have on your child.
    Your kid would need support instead of your bitterness.
    Instead of looking at all of the bad she did to you, look at it from the perspective of your kid.

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  • You're not obligated to be there for her

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  • She is sick and needs you, you douche. 'boy toy' what are you talking about.. The girl is sick, and you should be there for her. Seriously this--> "Why should I care now" is a horrible way to think. She isn't just sad, or fucked the wrong guy, she is ILL! Man up, and be there for the poor girl.

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    • How am I a douche? She's lied to me, cheated on me, hidden countless of things from me in the last 4 years that would make you scream. I've looked past it all to try and continue our relationship but she continued to lie. We hadn't been intimate in 8 months while she was , and yes I know for fact, was screwing other guys behind my back. She would constantly text while with me and hide her phone if I got close. I put up with it all hoping she'd realize that my love for her was enough. But it wasn't. So now after so long of being wronged by her, I'm the douche for trying not to be used? When she clearly has several other guys she's been talking to. Why is it now my responsibility to step in and. care when she hadn't cared in so long?

    • Yes she is a bitch, and normally she wouldn't even be worth looking at. But fact is, now she is sick, and if it's as serious as you say, I don't think it's reasonable to just tell her to get lost. Don't be her boyfriend, just be her friend for as long as she is sick.

What Guys Said 2

  • You're 100% right. She made her bed, time for her to lie in it. It's up to you whether you will find forgiveness in your heart, but in the end she's trying to use you again.

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  • You shouldn't care. Stop answering her phone calls.

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