Was I considered to be emotionally abusive with my ex?Are these reasons for her to break up with me?

We were in a serious relationship for a year and a half
1 year LDR because I was forced in the army for a year, and still till now, its the toughest year iam having, and iam really struggling in.

During the distance.. I was in depression for more than 5 months.
-I used to really worry about her when she was around guys, and even girls, but I don't text her don't go out with them, i just tell her not to trust them, cause I've seen people using her and talking bad about her before the relationship and she didn't see it.. and I stood up for her, and told her to stay away from those, and she agreed. so i was just doing it to protect her, and I did trust her.. so in that way she felt and told me that iam controlling her. remember this was all in the long distance, around 6 months not seeing her till that happened.

-I saw a picture of her and other guy, her cheeks on his.. I don't know, it just kindof really bugged me, and I wanted to be in his place.. so i talked to her about it, and she said that am jealous "insecure", he is just a friend and I should stop acting like that.

- i saw a picture on her Facebook (an old one she was kissing someguy before i met her) and I went really mad to see that, and i sent her a bad text.. and this was during my depression.. but then I apologized the next, cause i made her cry, but I thought she wouldn't care, but it really did hurt me seeing that, specially she's been away from me.

-She told me I was needy.. I kept telling her to come visit me soon, and she wanted to, and told her everything here reminds me of her, the house, the place (she visited me and my family last summer for a month the first time for her in the country) and she said stop it, ill come as soon as i can.

and things were like that for a while.. and she broke up with me when i told her "you are TOO independent". which I actually respect.. but I felt I was being pushed away

The reasons for all this, is not seeing her for almost a year.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Aw I am so sorry for you D: Long distance is really bad for relationships. Try to avoid seeing her for a little while and then sit down and discuss what went wrong in your relationship. Maybe you can fix the issues and get back together and happy again :D

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    • We can't see each other, if it was easy for us to see each other, everything would've been solved, and I wouldn't end up needy while she will be with me.. she lives in a different country, we used to be in the same country, but I had to move back to mine, to finish uni and my mandatory service.

      So we don't have the chance to talk about things, i think she's moved on already...
      And i need to do the same, but its hard, since am stuck here, and to much pressure due to certain conditions, life is stressful here, its a third world country.

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    • Thank you for your help ! :)

    • My pleasure!

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What Girls Said 1

  • You do send bit needy and controlling. That would be deal breakers for me personally

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    • You need to understand that
      -We both have different cultures, mine is strict, but I was really open minded with her
      -we haven't seen each other for a year, and she was planning to come and visit me
      -I am having a hard time since she left a year ago, and went in the army, which is for a year.. so political and life conditions went tougher for me.. I had no choice to rely on her somehow.
      that means iam not really in control of my life, am not in freedom yet.
      -I loved her and missed her so much, and she always made me happy at hard times and helped me through depression, that is why I NEEDED her... I just felt left out

    • If she did love me, she wouldn't have given up on me, since she knows what am going through..
      During my depression, i lost feelings for her and seeing future with her for 5 months !!
      But I didn't end up things or asked for space, while i felt so pressured from her and depressed.
      I would never hurt her and told myself feelings will come back, cause I know deep inside I love her a lot.. and i did get them back. But it was to late
      She promised me she would never give up on me, and I took her for granted, which was a mistake.

      But true love, two would sacrifice ! cause I did

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