I'm going I try to cram this huge mess into a brief description. So basically I have no family and it's just me... To start. I hooked up with a guy we broke up... Bam he's gone. A month later I met a man who was 12 years older than me and went to dinner with him mainly out of boredom. 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant I broke it off with the guy I had been dating but he said he would be there for me so we continued to date and I eventually fell in love. The guy that got me pregnant wanted nothing to do with me or baby. So anyhow... A few years later I discover I am not happy with him that maybe I'm with him for security or because he has been there for me and my son. I really don't know. I was wrong and started talking to another man and than left my current boyfriend to be with this new guy. My ex wants me to come home but I'm so confussed an messed up I don't know what I do. The new guy makes me happy but I wonder if it's just because it's new. I also wonder if I'm so happy why do I always miss my ex and the times we had why do I keep running back to him it's like I'm living a double life and it's not good especially having a baby I'm like a horrible person an I don't know who I am anymore and I'm hurting two people and I don't know what to do. Why do it keep running back to my ex... Does that mean I should stay with him or should I cut ties completely and accept that I did wrong or what do I do I need some advice.
Most Helpful Guy
well first off you are not a horrible person. but I do think there is a fundamental flaw in your relationships. it seems like you are always looking for a guy to satisfy you (not sexually but in general). you were with a guy and moved to the next guy, had a child stayed for a while and then moved on to the next guy. I firmly believe that between relationships there should be a (for lack of a better word) "cooling period". Essentially a time to figure out what you want, reflect on yourself and the past relationships to better determine what you need in the future. by going from guy to guy you are temporarily finding something but have never stepped back to determine what you need.
honestly I think you should find some independence for a bit. know yourself better and you'll know better what you need from someone else in a relationship0