Love triangle... What do I do? In desperate need of help?

I'm going I try to cram this huge mess into a brief description. So basically I have no family and it's just me... To start. I hooked up with a guy we broke up... Bam he's gone. A month later I met a man who was 12 years older than me and went to dinner with him mainly out of boredom. 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant I broke it off with the guy I had been dating but he said he would be there for me so we continued to date and I eventually fell in love. The guy that got me pregnant wanted nothing to do with me or baby. So anyhow... A few years later I discover I am not happy with him that maybe I'm with him for security or because he has been there for me and my son. I really don't know. I was wrong and started talking to another man and than left my current boyfriend to be with this new guy. My ex wants me to come home but I'm so confussed an messed up I don't know what I do. The new guy makes me happy but I wonder if it's just because it's new. I also wonder if I'm so happy why do I always miss my ex and the times we had why do I keep running back to him it's like I'm living a double life and it's not good especially having a baby I'm like a horrible person an I don't know who I am anymore and I'm hurting two people and I don't know what to do. Why do it keep running back to my ex... Does that mean I should stay with him or should I cut ties completely and accept that I did wrong or what do I do I need some advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • well first off you are not a horrible person. but I do think there is a fundamental flaw in your relationships. it seems like you are always looking for a guy to satisfy you (not sexually but in general). you were with a guy and moved to the next guy, had a child stayed for a while and then moved on to the next guy. I firmly believe that between relationships there should be a (for lack of a better word) "cooling period". Essentially a time to figure out what you want, reflect on yourself and the past relationships to better determine what you need in the future. by going from guy to guy you are temporarily finding something but have never stepped back to determine what you need.

    honestly I think you should find some independence for a bit. know yourself better and you'll know better what you need from someone else in a relationship

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What Guys Said 5

  • Personally, I have the feeling that you are with an underlying phobia of committing. That, or you simply realized that your ex, as great as he has been in many aspects of your life, not to mention your son's life, is not fulfilling your primary needs. Instead of feeling validated by the relationship you held him, you felt invalidated by it. Thus, you are unsatisfied and unhappy with being with him. Yet, you care for the guy and realize that he is a safe bet.

    And who are we kidding, relationships involve acts of selfishness. They are, to many, about fulfilling individual needs that will aide in overall happiness and self-actualization, in addition to the needs of a partner.

    Now, in regards to being conflicted about your ex, why, it's rather simple. You care for the guy and realize that he is a safe bet. And therefor, the realization of the security and lifestyle you are giving up by not returning to him is causing you to have an internal tug of war.

    Either you are brave enough to leave your ex be and pursue the type of guy you prefer. The type of guy who epitomizes most of the characteristics you want in a partner, or you are not.

    In any case, nevertheless, I suggest that you consider their feelings and make a conclusive decision as promptly as possible.

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  • I would recommend cutting ties with both. Concentrate yourself on your son and you (figuring out who you are and what you want/need) without the distractions of a man. You need to be the best you and mother. Not worrying about what guy is good at the moment. I wish you luck.

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  • My advice would be to make a list of con's and pros of your current situation. Try and weigh on the one you find makes you happy and is a better environment for your little one. I'm not going to say to put your child before you on this one, because a mother's happiness is just as important for the child to be happy. I truly hope you find what you are looking good luck.

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  • complicated is right. it sounds to me like not even you know what you want so how can either of these guys possibly make you happy?

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  • I am not getting the fact that are two men involved or three? Your first boyfriend, the one 2 years older and another newer one.

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