Would you break up with a guy if he hit you?

But you knew he wasn't in control.

So this was a couple years ago now and i am over it i am just a bit curious on what other people would do in this situation.

So i took my girlfriend shopping and let her buy about $200 worth of things on me, we went all the way out to LA to do this (about an hours drive) and when we got back to her place she started complaining about some of the things she brought and saying that she wants to take them back now, i told her no because its too far away and i have to go pick up my daughter, she kept complaining and i got really annoyed and all i remember was yelling at her then i blacked out and woke up at my house (happened a bit when i got angry, bipolar) and apparently i had hit her and then stormed out and went home, she broke up with me because of this even though she knew that i wasn't in control. What would you do if this happened to you?
Updates:
Ps- I did apologized to her a billion times and i have gotten help so nobody else is in any danger

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends. I have had other people hit me before, so I have a lot of anger about that sort of thing. But I love my boyfriend- I think if he hit me once and apologised LOADS and tried lots to make up for it, I would forgive him, but if it ever happens again then that is the end.
    If it was our kids or something like that though, one strike then you're out :o

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What Girls Said 21

  • I have been it the situation before. Twice actually once with each person I have loved. One I am still with. I know he would never intentionally hurt me. I was provoking him and he choked me. I had bruises on my neck and yes I was scared for months after even today I noticed I flinched when he raised his hands in excitement. But I love him regardless. I was being selfish and I can be quite a hadful. He felt so bad he cried, he's by no means a crier either.

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    • Yeah, i put myself into the hospital then broke out to go and apologize to her in person, It was the third worst feeling i had felt in the world

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    • sorry but you sound like you're in a really bad relationship, don't you think you can do better than a guy who hits you?

    • He hit me one time and I provoked him to do it. I would have hit me too.

  • what do u mean if he wasn't in control? as in bipolar?

    ur daughter? under 18? and it happened a couple of years ago?

    lol so many questions… ok ANYWAY. I'm sorry but i personally wouldn't tolerate that. a man should never, under NO circumstances, hit his woman. its the absolute most disgraceful thing a man can do. in most situations he will deeply regret it as he will turn around and she will b gone- that is, if she isn't afraid of him.

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    • I basically had no idea what i was doing, I don't remember it happening, I would in no way ever harm another person if i was like all there.

      Yes daughter, Under 18 a couple years ago
      She's 3, i'm 17, Long story.

    • alright then..
      well all the best

  • I would break up with you too. You need to see a professional who can help your anger issues.

    When you are done your help, I would start to see you as a friend, not a lover. It would take time to be as same as again.

    You have to learn how to deal with your anger. This is very dangerous, and harming. You are basically sabotaging your relationship. And any kind of violation is unacceptable.

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    • I have dealt with it, as soon as i was told what happened i admitted myself to the psychiatric ward and talked to my psychiatrist and doctors about it and got started up on medication and self-help exercises. We still talk as she is at my house every weekend (her mom is friends with mine and we have dinners)

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    • We aren't looking to get back together, she is in another relationship and i think we both just decided it'd be best if we stayed friends

    • Ok. Whatever suits best for you. You are trying to maintain the friendship. That is great I think.

  • Yes, I would break up immediately. No doubt. Doesn't matter if he "blacked out" or not, I would be putting myself in danger if I kept being with him. Who knows how many times he'd keep "blacking out" after that.

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  • I'd dump them immediately, sever all contact immediately also. if you sought intensive help for at least something like 6 months and REALLY showed improvement I MIGHT consider at least talking to you again, but the chance would be very, very slight and the chance of actually getting back together would be close to none sorry to say.

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  • I wouldn't. I know what it is like to suffer from bipolar (I have Major Bipolar Disorder) so I wouldn't place blame on him. I would, however, have him look for professional help and medication.

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  • Most definitely. I understand that you're bipolar and not well but I wouldn't put myself in jeopardy. My own fathers never raised a hand at me I don't see what some other man should.
    I hope you get Better soon though.

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  • Yes, I'd leave a man if he laid a finger on me. Domestic violence always starts out "small" but once the man realizes that he can get away with it, he will escalate the abuse.

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    • did you read the description?

    • Yes I did. In my opinion, bipolar disorder is not an excuse to be violent, especially if you are taking medication (it would be very irresponsible if you weren't). There comes a point when you've got to take responsibility for your own actions. If anything, it would make me want to break up with you more if you blamed it on your disorder. I'd rather a man that just owned up to his mistake rather than finding a scapegoat.

    • I wasn't perscribed medication at that time because i didn't meet the requirements

  • I would. Losing control once means that it can and most likely will happen again.

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  • Yes, if u have no control over your anger that's a horrible sign. Especially over something that small.

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  • Yes I would break up with someone who hit me whether they were in control or not it wouldn't matter.

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  • I would dump him faster than he could contemplate if I would

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  • In your "control" or not, no one wants to be with someone unpredictably violent.

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  • Yes I would.

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  • I would dump him immediately.

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  • Absolutely I would dump his ass. That's not ok

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  • yes i would.

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  • Short answer yes.

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  • Yes I would

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  • Yes, I would break up with him in the matter of seconds.
    In this particular situation, she did act like a bitch, and you had all rights to yell and be angry. BUT never hit! If my boyfriend, hit me even once, there is no forgiveness. I would never wan't to see him again. If it was an on going situation, I would turn him in for domestic violence, no doubt.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I'm sorry, but there is never an excuse to hit anyone out of anger... male or female... Even more so if the person you hit has less of a chance of defending themselves than you (the hitter).

    I have never hit or been hit my anyone in my life. If ever I did, I certainly would beyond any reasonable doubt expect the other person to break up with me, and if I was ever hit, I wouldn't hesitate to break up with the person who hit me.

    To raise one's hand, irrespective of how irritated you are, is the ultimate in trust betrayal and insulting in the strongest form. When someone spends time with you, they are doing so because they care about you, believe they are safe and I would expect, believe that you would protect them if the need should arise. By hitting someone you completely obliterate all those key trust values in a relationship. I am very familiar with your 'condition' and so I would have to say that you should be even more cognizant of the fact that you are prone to extreme 'highs' and 'lows'. Rather remove yourself from the situation when you know you are potentially heading for a 'low'. This especially if you are with someone you are expected to protect... I wouldn't be surprised that she broke it off... A million apologies will never make up for the fact that she was hurt both physically and emotional by the incident... I don't blame her at all... and you should simply accept that... learn to deal with your 'lows' and move on with your life... Good luck.

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  • Too many girls think they are entitled to the perfect guy. Sorry, it'll never happen.

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  • Pretty sure that "blacking out" is a phoney excuse.

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    • nah it's not

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    • You're lying to yourself now... but whatever, you deserve what you get/got.

    • Whatever you say man, Since you know me better than i know myself

  • no guy is allowed to hit a woman under any circumstances!

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  • i would call the cops and get him charged for assult

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  • Abusers (yes I read the description) tend to escalate their violence so a ten year or maybe five year period of no violence would be good to see to make any sort of decision about you.

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  • dude she provoked you. I've learned from female GAGers that if your partner provokes you its ok to slap them. dont know if that only applies to female hitters. but im sure female GAGers aren't sexist. so i guess it does

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    • Can I just say I don't think violence if any kind is ok provoked or unprovoked

    • Yeah, she did in a way which is what brought out the violent black out

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