I need help winning my ex bf back?

This question mainly goes out to all the guys out there, but girls are more than welcome to give feedback as well. How can I win my ex bf back?

5 months ago my bf of 6 years broke up with me. The day after my birthday. Worst timing ever. Anyway, he said the relationship got boring and he wasn't happy anymore and wanted to see who else was out there. Less than 2 weeks later he started seeing this woman he works with and they've been together since. I had just turned 23, my ex is 25 and the other woman is 31 (unless she's had a birthday since then). I know what went wrong in our relationship and what he's looking for now and I'm positive that if he comes back he'll be happy. I'm not wanting forever, I'm just simply wanting another chance at least to see if things are different. I really want to prove to him that we can be happy together again and fall in love again. We can build a new and better relationship. I just need to convince him to leave her and give me one last chance. Give us one last chance. I truly believe he would be glad that he did. What can I do though guys? I'm lost and really need help on figuring out how I can get him back. I don’t want to just give up on us because I know what we have is still there. I just need to find a way to make him see that as well. If this woman really likes him and cares about him then she would want him to be happy. If that meant taking a break from her to see if his gf of 6 years is really the right one for him, don’t you think she would want to step aside and let him take another chance with me? It’s been 5 months and I’m still absolutely heartbroken. I just want one last chance to see if it works out for us.

I really don’t want to hear that I need to leave it alone and move on. I’m in therapy and I’ve talked it out. I can’t move on yet. Not until he and I try again and start over. I’m just looking for advice on how I can try and convince him to come back.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First and foremost, find out if he still has feelings for you and is interested in reconciling to determine whether you should or should not proceed in pursuing a second chase with him. If he is, then un-aggressively, but convincingly go about the task of displaying the changes you have made and trying to win him back.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I want to be fair here, because I can feel how much you really Do love him, have seen where your Own mistakes were, and now Want Desperately a----Second chance to prove yourself And to Make him 'happy.'
    However, if He Is with this woman he has been working with And Has set up shop with, and they have been together ever since After your birthday. I have a surprise for you----He most likely was seeing her when the both of you were an item and this is why-----He said the relationship was boring and he wasn't happy anymore. And on top add More icing on your beloved birthday cake, he even had the gall to to break up with you, probably on Purpose, as this 'Guaranteed' Gift that he wouldn't be back. I feel his 'Timing' was low and underhanded, after being with someone with so much love, and Now is being forced into "Therapy," no less.
    The only thing I can suggest at this point, for it doesn't seem he is 'Suggesting' anything with you, is contact him and just have this "talk' with him. Tell him how you feel, see how he feels. Granted, after 6 years in a relationship, I would have to say Yes, you deserve to know, deserve to find closure. All he can tell you is that he is happy now, has found who he wants, and he has no intentions of breaking up with her. It would then be Your Closure to Move on, for you would have it heard it straight from Him.
    As far as the Other half Stepping aside for you, That won't happen in this lifetime. Even if he were to leave her tomorrow, it might end up this Triangle Threesome, where she is on top, looking down from side to side, and he may end up jumping from You to Her.
    I believe that God is telling you to leave this alone, let him go. But I also believe you Do need closure, and you should get this, along with your therapy.
    Good luck. xx


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I know it's not what you want to hear but you do need to move on. you don't just win people back. they have to want to come back

    my feeling is if you two were together for 6 years and he started dating someone so soon after the break-up that he had lost that loving feeling a long time ago. that means mentally he's checked out and to bridge that broken gap is almost impossible.

    you don't convince people to come back... unfortunately. they have to want to come back.

  • What's going to be different this time?


What Girls Said 1

  • The thing is you don't want to hear this and that... but the truth is... it sounds like he left you for her. Even guys don't rebound that quick unless it's a rebound. Sorry hun, but it sounds like he had her in his sights and then broke up with you. There isn't anything you can do... you can try a "game plan" etc but in this case you don't really have much choice but to move on. He wanted her, not you. It sucks but it's life

    • And the stuff about if she wanted him to be happy he'd try again with you.. that is delusional. Not realistic at all... if A guy wants you he'll come back. Fact x

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