Even though he has a girlfriend why does he act this way?

My ex broke up with me 6 months ago. A few weeks after the break up we were exchanging messages and meeting for coffee. All of which he initiated. One week after heavily flirting, out of the blue, I saw pictures of him and a girl on fb. Turns out he had a girlfriend (all within a few weeks). So I cut contact. Problem is we work together.
Anyway, he still carried on talking normally to me as though nothing had happened. After a month he suggested we meet for coffee. During our conversation I found out he had split with her.
So we started flirting and sexting for a couple of weeks. After sending me quite graphic pictures of himself and telling me he wanted me he suddenly stopped talking to me one night. After trying to get hold of him for a week with no luck I found out he was back with that girl! I haven't been able to speak to him since even though he tries to have a laugh and joke with me I can no longer bring myself to talk to him. i just don't recognise the person he is, or the person I fell for. I'm still trying to get over this betrayal and the way he used me.

It's been 3-4 months since and they've moved in together. We avoided each other for the first few weeks however, at work now he is constantly looking at me and approaches me to talk and tells me about all the good things that have been happening in his life. I just listen but never give him a reaction as I try to stay professional at work. He never discusses his girlfriend.

Why does he still talk to me as if he's done nothing wrong?
whenever I look up I catch him looking at me.
Isn't 4 months too soon to be moving in together considering they broke up briefly at the start?

I don't want comments like it's none of my business what goes on in there relationship because it kind of is when he is still acting as if we're still on good terms. I'd just like some advice.
I know it's impossible to know what he's thinking but some opinions to help me get closure and move on would be so helpful.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First thing is first.. take a really deep breath. He came to you for friendship, most likely in his mind he was trying to keep that and his way of "respecting boundaries" was by not talking about the new gf. He "needed" his friend he had in you. He was controlling the situation and you let him.

    So my advice is what do you want or need from him. If you just aren't in a place where you can talk to him socially then say it to him. you need to establish boundary's that you are ok with take the control back. !!!

    You invite him to coffee at work (public place) and say you know I was thinking, I know that you are in a relationship and I am happy for you (even if your not -smile) but since you didn't tell me directly that are, its kinda crappy that you didn't think I was that good of a friend to you. I feel that we need some space, that means please don't make goo-goo eyes at me at work, or talk about non work related stuff for a while, it really sends mixed messages and well I deserve so much more from my friends. I wish you well and I will talk to you soon. then walk away!

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    • Thanks. The last conversation I had I told him wasn't interested in his stories as I didn't care for him. I know it was a mean thing to say. Since then he just turns and looks at me. I know that upset him briefly.

      I'm on a work placement for the next few weeks so I'm hoping that time away will help. I just can't stop thinking of what if scenarios. I need to break free of negative thinking

      I don't know what to make of it all. Part of me hopes his relationship fails and that he moved on to her to replace me. Its just messing with my head so much

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like he's snooping around. I think he's just finding broad after broad and when he thinks he's in better relationship he cuts it with you. So you're kinda a plan b
    Don't take his shit and make it clear you want nothing with him

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're kind of plan b/another option
    He's keeping you in the loop

    Guys suck sometimes. Find someone better 😘

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