Would this be a valid reason to breakup with someone?

My boyfriend of three months broke up with me a week ago because of I joke I showed him when we were in the talking stage of our relationship. The joke was in reference to wine and it said: "Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it is up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." When I showed him this joke I didn't think anything of it, then while I was on vacation he called me and said we should end things because my heart is messed up for finding this joke funny. He blocked me on Facebook when I tried to tell him how I felt and said I need to work on myself because there are deep underlying issues with me. What do you think about this situation?


0|0
105

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think your ex was a good man for depriving you of his melancholy.

    0|0
    2|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • OK, this is just me, but a few points. First, if a man "joked" that women should be beaten, I might also question his ethics. I'm not humorless, but I don't see domestic violence as a funny joke, and I think it's because people consider it funny to joke about beating up men that rates of domestic violence by women against men are now at least as high as for the other way round.. that's not really a joking matter. Second point, to make jokes like that reveals a lack of caring and kindness - I would expect that may show in other ways in a relationship. Third, you effectively made him the butt of a joke about beating up men, and as if it's a given that he'd just allow you to stomp all over him... which is actually really degrading if you think about it. I would break up with a woman who makes jokes like that.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Well said

    • So you would date the girl for three months after the joke was said to you, have sex with her and date her family, and then when she went on vacation to see her family far away you'd call and break up with her? Because that is exactly what he did. We weren't even dating when I showed him the joke, we were still in the beginnings of knowing each other. He brought up the joke once and we talked about it and he still asked me to be his girlfriend long after that and told me he loved me. But in the end after all of that said I had a messed up heart and that I need help and he couldn't be with me.

    • And the joke was an e=card online, not my actual words.

  • I think he's just got no sense of humour.
    Tell him this one : Why are women like dog turds? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

    0|0
    1|0
  • he is being immature and has no sense of humor, what a bore he must be

    0|0
    0|0
  • he could be right in his assessment of your psychology.

    but i think it's premature.

    i wouldn't have dumped you. but i would be more alert to potential red flags

    1|1
    0|0
    • My question is how can a joke in passing make you question a persons state of mind? I wasn't showing it to him as fact.

    • i think it can. but as i said i wouldn't judge you on just that. but it would make me keep my ears and eyes open more

What Girls Said 10

  • In my experience, people do not like to be butt of a joke. If you reverse the sexes, do you still think it's a funny joke? It's up to the men to stomp the crap out of women until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with?

    I'm guessing you don't really feel that way about men. but it sounds like your boyfriend got the impression that you do.

    Is there a way you could clear up the misunderstanding with him by taking responsibility for giving him the wrong impression?

    0|0
    1|0
    • I apologized to him profusely, and told him that those weren't my views and that to me it was just a joke and nothing else, and not how I felt at all Ans apologized for even showing him the joke and that I didn't want him to define me as that joke because it means nothing to me.

    • If he won't accept your apology and explanation, that's his choice. I'm sorry that your relationship ended.

  • Goddamn. Talk about overreacting. If he didn't like the joke, he should have just said so. This is not really something to break up over.
    Then again, maybe he just wanted whatever excuse he could get to break up.

    1|0
    0|0
    • This. I think her bf already had it in his mind to break-up from some time ago but just needed whatever excuse. I have never seen people that are happy in their relationships suddenly breaking up over trival stuff like that.

    • I obviously thought we were happy, in the end he told me he resented me for quite some time over the joke and he tried to get over it but just couldn't. Before he even said it was petty of him to break up over something so small, but then he came over my house and said that it bothered him way to much and said he couldn't be with a person like me.

    • Okay. Then he overreacted. Also shows that he doesn't know how to communicate. Instead of actually talking to you about it, he let it build up in his head and he created this false image of you. Not relationship material, really.

  • It's unfortunate he wasn't willing to talk more about it, but it sounds like his mind was set.

    The "joke" is also fairly degrading.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Yes, but a simple joke is no reason to dump someone and insult their state of mind. It is clear that she didn't agree with the joke.

    • Show All
    • (Or if not a deep-seated hate issue, they are just amoral)

    • At the very least, it's not a joke I would show to a person I'm starting a relationship with.

  • Dear lord it was just a joke (but then again some people get offended quiet easily by jokes... BLAHHH). If you sincerely apologies and told him you only found it amusing (and don't actually believe it lol) then he should have understood (it's not like you were referring it to him specifically). If he broke up with you for such a thing like that then so be it (his not worth it). There's plenty of fishies in the sea ( WAY BETTER FISHIES)

    p. s blocking you on Facebook was really immature...

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is overreacting quite a lot. Its one thing to dislike a joke but breaking up because you thought ut was funny ( and you didn't agree with it) is just stupid. You can get someone better who doesn't get upset because of jokes

    0|0
    0|0
  • Eh that might be a bad joke to show a boyfriend with no sense of humor, or he could have just used it as an excuse. Either way, good riddance. You dodged a bullet.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Honestly he sounds like a loser... you're better of finding a secure man. You really shouldn't stress about someone who wouldn't even give you the chance to explain

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's just an excuse, it had nothing to do with the joke,. He's been wanting to breakup for a while and found the excuse to do so

    0|0
    0|0
  • Good grief talk about overreacting. If he would break up over something petty like that, then you're better off without him. If I were you, I would go totally NC on him too.

    0|0
    0|0
    • After his last words to me on FB I totally would.

  • He either thought you really believed this or he just wanted an excuse to break up with you

    0|0
    0|0
    • I told him that it was just something I chuckled at in passing and that they weren't my thoughts. But he said that saying that wasn't enough and that is was disrespectful to all men and showed that I had a deep underlying hate for me... which is news to me.

Recommended myTakes

Loading...