My girlfriend broke up with me, I dont understand why. Please help?

Hey people. So my girlfriend of two years just broke up with me on Saturday because she needs time and space to be single and figure herself out. She said I did nothing wrong and its all her, ans that I am the most wonderful guy ever but ahe needs to break up and be single for now just to figure herself out and what she wants in life. She reassured me many times that no other guy involved, and her sister (who has helped me because she wants us to not break up) told me herself that there isn't another guy involved. I dont understand my girlfriend though. She said she needs time and space cus she is unhappy with herself, and needs to be free and single away from me, family and friends. However, she also said she needs to break up for now to focus on her priorities and what she really wants in life, but then she told me she just needs to miss me and find the spark for me but can't do that with us together. She also said she needs a break from us cus she never had the chance to be single and think for herself, since she never had the chance to because she broke up with her ex two years ago to be with me. (She dumped him for me because he was abusive and controlling). She said she still loves me but needs to break away from us and be single, and is still open to the possibility of us getting back together in the future, but for now she doesn't want to date anyone and just wants to be herself. Maybe i have been to clingy and close with her and had so much plans for our future that she gave up too much of herself to be with me and became unhappy? I dont know. I asked if i had put too much restrictions on her life and she said that I didn't put restrictions on her, but she just needs to figure herself out and figure out what she wants without being in a relationship cus it adds confusion. If we dont end up back together then thats just life but seriously whats up with my girlfriend?

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  • I can relate to your situation and whats running through her mind. Because I also broke up with my ex, we were together for 5 years. For what looks like to be the same reasons she broke up with you. I had a really rough childhood also. What she wants to do is find herself, discover who she is, and she wants to miss you. What ever you do (I know its hard) Support her, because if you tell her you dont want to break up or you become to clingy you will suffocate her. She will most def stay away from you because you're pushing her away. Your not the problem, she feels the need to explore and maybe her past has to do with it thats why she wants to stay away from family and friends. Just support her, tell her you will be her you will be there for her, and when you do hang out with her as "Friends" make it worth it. Both of you go somewhere you've both haven't been do something new together. Take her mind off of things, Be spontaneous and adventurous. Honestly my ex gave me my space and when we did hang out we did things we didn't do when we were together, it made me happy and miss him. Plus he also enjoyed it. I didn't want another guy I just wanted to find myself, and explore new things. But really try and do new and exciting things when you two hang out, it might not be right away. Good luck!

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    • Okay well i really do hope she comes back to me. It does hurt alot. She changed her relationship status on facebook. And it does hurt a lot now that she treats me like a friend. Are you sure that she really needs to miss me? Like honestly I was always nice to her and treated her right, so I understand that she would do this to someone who is mean to her, but since I was so wonderful to her i dont deserve this. Should I try and go hang out with her and do something special as friends? Or should I maybe ignore her and have no contact? Like i hate how she treats me as just a friend, so I don't know what to do :( I hope she comes back

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    • I know this post was 2 days ago, but would it be possible that my girlfriend actually doesn't love me anymore and its not worth the effort to get her back?

    • its possible, but I dont think love can fade that quickly. I would hope you would keep trying, just the way you speak about her, you can tell you love her. :)

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What Girls Said 5

  • Personally speaking, I think she wants to focus on other things in life other than JUST love relationships. She is that kind of girl who needs some distance once in a while. She needs to stay quite sometimes and know what she is really craving for in life. Once she figures it out, she would either come back to you, or just move on like a normal break up. I believe you are a great man, don't stop looking for that great perhaps and true love.

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    • I meant to put my reply on the comment below. But like i said in the comment. She had a hard past, she almost committted suicide. She was bullied. I always looked after her and made her feel loved and special. I didn't want her for sex i wanted her for who she is. I would buy her teddy bears and flowers spontaniously even after the romance period was over. I admit i made my mistakes, but I did everything I could to make changes and right my wrongs. And thats what she loved about me. I kept to myself when my friends would talk about banging chicks and looking at p*rn and stuff (even though they had girlfriends) and they thought i was gay because of that, and when I told them that kts because i respected my girlfriend they said I need to be a man. I didn't care cus I loved her anyway. I honestly pray at night she will come back. If not, then sadly I will have to find another girl to make her feel like the luckiest and most loved girl on the planet. I just hope it won't come to that

  • you have clearly done nothing wrong your girlfriend is in the same position as me and i can promise you i am very certain i dont want another guy anytime soo. sometimes when we have so much on our plate we just need sometime to ourselves because everything can get so stressful. trust her when she says its not you its probably true

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    • i really hope she comes back to me. If not i can keep my head up just fine. She was always that innocent cute lovable girl who had a hard past from being bullied. And I was always there for her. And yes while i did make my mistakes I would always try to go out of the way to make her feel loved and special. Heck even after a year in the relationship I would still randomly buy her flowers and teddy bears and give her cute cards and leave it on her vehicle while she is at work, so that she knows I care about her. And a lot of girls got jealous cus their boyfriends quit doing that after the romance period ended. And i always respected her and valued her as a human being instead of wanting her body for sex. And my friends always thought i was screwed up in the head for not talking about "fucking my girlfriend" or "checking out girls' asses." I do pray to God every night she comes back because I just want to take care of her, but if we are not meant to be then I understand. I hope we are

    • that is the cutest thing I've ever heard and for you i hope she comes back too. but if not any girl would be happy to have you

  • In all honesty, girls are not that complicated. If it seems like she's confused as to why she broke up with you, then she is. But the main reasons are either a) she wants to be with other guys and have fun.
    b) she's tired of you and wants to see if maybe in the future you guys will be compatible

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  • first of all y so long. um i feel the same way she wants 2 explore the world 4 the same time without thinking of 2. she wants 2 fend 4 herself thats all its like her begging of life crisis. is all she still loves u

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  • Sometimes people get lost in relationships. I'm kind of in the same boat as the girl in your story. I haven't left my boyfriend though. I've been with him for going on 3 years. I know who I am with him, but that's like all I know. I don't know who *I* am.

    Thankfully he's on the second of three week long vacations right now (They're all in a row) with his family and I'm taking this time to regroup and focus on me.

    I'm sure if I told him I felt I were drowning in the relationship he'd give me the space to focus on me, but as a girl, you just don't tell them these things. I think your girlfriend is the same, except you didn't go on a three week vacation so she had to go on a vacation herself :p

    Give her a week or two (it's amazing how quickly decisions can be made when the distraction is removed) and then check back with her.

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