The World's Strangest Breakup?

My boyfriend of four years/baby daddy dumped me two weeks ago. He moved out and into his mother's house. I was gutwrenched. I've honestly never felt anything this emotionally painful in my life. We agreed to 30 days no contact with a chance for reevaluation after that time. Well the thing is, we have a kid, and you can't really do 30 days no contact when you have kids.

Financially, I can't afford to take care of my kid by myself as I am a full-time grad student and can't work. So he agreed to move back in to help out with the kids. He's coming home on Tuesday.

Last night, I was going through some fucked up family issues with my sister and I called him to cry about it. He agreed to meet up and we went to a bar and split a bottle of wine. He has already started seeing someone else, but he kept assuring me that the only things they've done so far is makeout twice. He then told me about sexual fantasies he's had about me. We ditched the bar and went back to my place and had the best sex we've ever had.

Here's where I fucked up. Right after we had sex, I could tell he regretted it. It made me feel kind of cheap and used. I still want him back. And I told him so. I basically begged for him to take me back. I told him that I recognize what I did wrong in the relationship and I won't make those same mistakes again. He kept saying no. When we met, he was wild and crazy and erratic, and I took a chance on him when no one else would, and now I'm just asking for the same thing.

I know he still loves me. He says he has love for me, but is not in love with me. He's scared that things will just go back to the way they were before. But why would you move back in with your ex and have sex with them if you didn't want to be near them? We both come from broken homes and are classic examples of how bad that ends up working out. I just want to save my family. He's already moving back in. So what do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Toughest question yet!

    I don't think he will be your family anymore.
    Just find another guy who can love you and your kid more than you ex did.

    But still, go to him, pour all your emotions out and tell him that that kid is not only your and you are not the only to take care of this kid cause he is his father too and your kid needs both of you at this time.
    Buddy i'll pray for you.

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    • I think he is making you beg to him cause he thinks that at this time you need him.
      Try and show up that you are strong enough and dont need him if he doesn't wants to come back and show him what love he'll miss if he'll leave you both

    • how do i do that if we're living together. i'm so terrified of this prospect, but i haven't seen my son in 5 days because i had classes and can't afford a regular babysitter. i can't live without my son, but how am i supposed to live in the same house with the man who left me for a floosie?

    • Hmm.. Worst situation.
      See firstly make up your mind that this worst thing is happening because something good is waiting at the other side.

      And now, you'll have to find a guy who loves you and can keep you both.
      Do you know any NGOs?
      Go and meet them if they exist in your country too.
      Try finding some organisations which can help you out.
      And for now you'll have to leave all your comfort for your son.

      And buddy please keep a smile on your face cause when you fight your problems with a smile, they seems small and you feel powerful.
      And your son is lucky that he got a brave mother like you.
      I would have definitely helped you of you were in my country

Most Helpful Girl

  • He is moving back in because you need help.

    He had sex with you because you were both drunk and there.

    He doesn't want to be with you.

    Those are the harsh realities. He has already started seeing someone. You need to pick yourself up, prepare for a break up and figure out a plan for you and your kid.

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    • you don't think it's just a rebound? like he literally met up with her the first time after meeting on Facebook the day he moved out.

    • Show All
    • ugghhh i can't believe he left this family for a floosie! i know rationally that i'm supposed to get over it. why should i want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me? why should i try to make things work with someone that threw away our family? the only thing is that those kinds of thoughts are extremely overpowered by the thoughts of saving the family for the kid and the desire to fix a problem that i know i have the solution to.

    • I mean I'm not saying he necessarily left FOR her, but her attention probably. made him realise he doesn't want to be in the relationship.

      Its completely natural to feel that way. But like you said, you deserve better. You don't want to let him go and fuck around then just come back to you.

      If I were you, I'd say you respect his decision and are willing to figure a solution so he provides for the kid and has visitation. But tell him if he leaves, thats it. You won't take him back if he changes his mind after he gets sick of the new girl.

      It'll be so hard, but just because you've behaved wrong doesn't mean he gets a free pass.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Damn thats a hard question. he will see you a lot because you are living together so show him you won't make the mistakes you have made and let him see that you have changed for the better.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Found you!!!

    He still likes you. Show that you've changed and he will take you back.

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