Did I really ruin a family? Will he leave?

Hi I've just turned 18, and 4 months ago I met this amazing guy we have so much in common and hit it off straight away, insane chemistry. He's 26, but the thing is, he had a girlfriend at home pregnant and had a daughter. We were at the same birthday party and got too drunk and couldn't help ourselves, I almost fell in love straight away, and I couldn't keep away from him vice versa, a week later he left his partner for me, she's made our lives hell. We started living together at his mums a month into the relationship, I still contacted her until then but since we've lived together I've told him no contact unless it's about baby stuff but she always texts and calls him before and I got sick of it and told him no more cell phone and block her on Facebook so he did. He doesn't love her at all, and wants to spend his life with me. I have heard that she was really good to him and I understand she's heartbroken but she's just not letting it go. Their baby is due in 3 months and I'm scared, I'm trying to act happy and supportive for him but I hate his ex because I know she will try get him back and use their baby, I don't have kids of my own I'm 18 but I'm very mature. I'm sure I can trust him but I won't trust her with him on her own when their baby is born. What can I do? To prevent him leaving me? We live together and I feel great now but are things likely to really change?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're 18 and this guy is 26 with a baby already, another en route but also cheated on his then girlfriend with you. Point being, is this issue really that difficult for you to comprehend? This is not a difficult decision as you cease contact with everyone in that entire situation, steer clear of each and every one of them and move on with your life while hopefully meeting someone without that much baggage.

    I am fairly sure you won't heed any advice on here anyhow and will simply continue to go after this guy but consider this: If he has two kids and a girlfriend and abandons them to have sex with you, what do you think he's going to do with you, a person who he has not a single shred of connection (baggage wise) with? In other words, he will drop you as soon as the next best thing comes up so my advice stands: move on... quickly.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "I don't have kids of my own I'm 18 but I'm very mature. ".
    You are not mature.
    Mature people know how to put their selfish needs aside, look at situations for what they are,
    and make decisions that will not negatively affect them/others.
    You walked into a situation knowing the damage and destruction that
    could possibly occur from this.
    Just like she treated him good, and he left her.
    In time, he will do that to you.
    Do not be a fool!
    Your poor choices will come back to haunt you.

    "What can I do? To prevent him leaving me?"
    Nothing!
    I'm sure the mother of his child asked herself to the same questions at one point.
    If a man wants to tray he will tray.
    Nothing you do or say will prevent that.

    Walk away from the situation while you can (because you have no attachments to him).
    Enter into a relationship with someone who is single and not involved with any one else.

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What Guys Said 8

  • To be honest you dont sound that mature since you didn't take into consideration that him and his gf were together and you didn't limit yourself with him. "We got drunk and couldnt help ourselves" Good excuse. Wonder how long it will take before he leaves you pregnant while he finds some other girl to bone.

    You are getting used here dear heart. If he has a kid with this chick, and made another one with her it wasn't an accident. He is feeding you line after line.

    You sound like a child that is in way over her head. Dude has some serious baggage. Unless you live in a country that has nothing for child support she is going to take him to the cleaners for this. She is going to be part of his life for a long long time.

    maybe you should rethink your position, and really you live at his moms place? Thats awesome. Im sure his mom is really thrilled with his actions. You have a jerk on your hands. If she treated him like gold, but he didn't love her, what does that say? Do the math here dear before you end up babys mama #2

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  • "She was really good to him" and "He doesn't love her at all", but 6 months earlier he was making babies with her.
    I suppose you'll be "really good to him" too. How far do you reckon that will get you?
    At least when she's cleaned him out for child support, there's less chance he will be making babies with you. If you don't get pregnant, he may not dump you. He's still not a prize worth catching.

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  • Yup and...
    www.quickmeme.com/.../...11ceec045f955065cbc80.jpg
    The guy should also take the blame. His penis should be cut off.

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  • Just saying, you're just 18 years old, why are you thinking in getting and starting a family already with a dude with a daughter and a child to come? That's very bad idea. I recommend you leaving him before you're teen years are screwed and no enjoyment at all. Just live, don't rush it.

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  • Just tell me, why should we have utmost respect for western women?
    Yes you and that irresponsible guy together ruined her and her's children future.
    Wtf.

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  • You really picked a winner. Guess what will happen when he knocks you up...

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  • Men are particularly vulnerable to another woman with a 6 month pregnant girl at home. he could be frightened of the future and responsibility, probably not getting much sex and his partner may be having mood swings. I have never heard of a woman hooking up with a guy with a 6 month pregnant girl at home. You have severe issues also to have not only hooked up with him but then continued the relationship. there is no future for you both. You will never trust him and rightfully so. when you are 6 months pregnant and not feeling attractive , will you trust him around other woman? You will also be tied to this other woman for the rest of your life and she hates you. You and him have created a huge mess and you should break up now.

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  • he chose you! be happy :-)

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What Girls Said 3

  • wtf? sounds like you're happy to to ruin a family?

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  • Poor kids.. not being able to have a family with both their parents at the same time because some girl ruined it at a drunken party, but I guess he isn't much better. She's better off without him and deserves better.

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  • Lmao can't get a guy your own age huh?

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