Post-breakup dilema - Is this too tough to get her back? If not, how?

So my girlfriend of a year broke up with me a month ago. She said that she just didn't love me as much anymore. She felt like she had to do and say things that she didn't necessarily want to do in order to make me happy (1. be more couply around our friends when she worried about being to over the top, 2. pretending to be happy when she was down because she didn't want to bring me down, 3. faking some orgasms). I told her that I never expected her to do that in the first place, and could absolutely continue our relationship without that and be as happy as ever; I absolutely treasured the moments we had alone together chilling, and she agreed that she did too and wish that she mentioned these problems earlier, so we could sort it. She says that she kept it quiet thinking it'd pass (she's a bit of an emotional mess), but things built up over time and that the relationship didn't feel real for her anymore. Also we're going to different unis in two months, which is the clincher. She said she never really thought about us having to deal with long distance and just went along with what I said, and by the time that it became close, that she didn't feel like she felt strongly enough for it. I think she wants to be single for uni. We were friends before, and we've never had a fight or an awkward silence and get on ridiculously well; she said that it would be easy to slip into the relationship again with the connection we have. We kept texting after the breakup and I had a drunken breakdown in front of her, so I stopped texting after a few days, despite us still getting along really well and settling it. Thing is, I did this no contact thing having read it somewhere as a way to make her want me back. Problem is that she's in my friendship group; when I saw her today at a BBQ she was fine and planning nights out with the girls. Its been a week no texting, is this too tough to pursue? She made me so happy and I really want another chance to make this real for her. Thanks!
Also she admitted that at least in the first 6 or so months pf the relationship before she felt the pressure of university round the corner, and before she felt like she needed to do those things, that she was head over heels in love.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well um, I understand what you feel though. But if that really what she wants--to stop the relationship, then you must give it to her. You see, relationship is about the happiness of both. She is not happy anymore with you. I mean, a relationship will not work if one is not happy. Yes, you're happy with her but it's not enough. Maybe she need some space, too. Give her a break.


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