How can I get over this breakup?

I dated a guy for almost four years, I don't know how to get over him. I don't have any friends to turn to, my family isn't exactly all that great either. I have spent the last month and a half of being broke up trying to get back together with the guy. I'm only now realizing that I don't want the guy back, he's making a mess of his life and I'm sick of being hurt.

I know the usual things like cutting him out of my life completely - I'm going to try. I can't delete him off Facebook yet, I'm just not ready to give up everything all at once. I have him as restricted though so he can't view anything I post. I'm also not going to contact him though if he contacts me I'm not going to be rude in a response or just ignore it, basically just be really vague and try to make it clear that I'm moving on.

I just don't know how to get passed the pain, it's been really bad recently. It's like all of a sudden it finally hit me that we were over. I keep dreaming about him, and wake up feeling horrible, I see things on Facebook, of him hanging out with people who used to be my friends and not his and it hurts.

I know time is really the only thing that will help with that, but is there anything else that can help?
Other people keep telling me that to move on I need to start dating again but I don't think I can do that. I'm terrified at this point of dating. I'm afraid that when it comes down to it, they will not understand me. I also can't picture myself ever having sex with someone else.
It's not like he was my first boyfriend or the first guy I slept with but I became comfortable with him and now don't know how to get to that place with anyone else.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh boy this is a tuff one but I will do my best, I know it hurts and yes time will be your best bet and yes it sucks and it won't be easy, and who ever told you to start dating again as a solution, horrible idea to specially when this relationship lasted so long, you need to find some closure. Won't be able easy but you're not alone, the first days will be the hardest and unless someone has gone through with the same pain they won't understand but don't miss judge the ignorant for caring I bet you're very much loved but in moments of extreme pain we tend to seclude ourself's. Try to cut him out for awhile, avoid Facebook and delete his number but write it on the side somewhere, try to keep yourself busy, do things that make you happy. This may sound some what lame but cartoons really helped me out a lot and my art, but just hang in there, give things time for in the end is all you can do and become stronger for it.

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    • ... miss judge the ignorant for NOT caring... =:P

    • Show All
    • Thank you. (:

    • Glad I could help =:D

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What Guys Said 2

  • Before anyone can truly move on, you need to be secure in yourself, learn to understand yourself and find what makes you happy and do it. Once you are happy in yourself, other people around you will feel this and will become attracted to you, this is when you can control who you choose to include in your life, and who not to.
    When you are happy and content, life becomes a lot clearer and you can see and understand what a person is really like.
    Ask yourself what qualities you like in a person, and become that person. Like attracts like.
    Try to find the positives in everything you do, and take time to notice the small things, even down to a spider spinning a web for example.
    Something's are just not to be, often the reason isn't clear for some time.
    Good luck.

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  • You need to find another guy.

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    • I hate men at the moment. Well not really but I've snapped at so many guys recently because all the guys I know are assholes. :/

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