My boyfriend is very good friends with his ex-wife and it bothers me. Do you agree that they're weirdly close or am I just being over-sensitive?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and have lived together for about seven months. Six years ago, he and his ex-wife divorced after twelve years of marriage. He told me that he didn't want the divorce, but she did because she didn't like how he works a lot (he's a doctor) and he didn't want to have children. She's now re-married (guess who was the best man) and living in Texas (my boyfriend and I live in Massachusetts). Her and her new husband have two children and one on the way (guess who's the godfather). He has two kids of his own (twins) from a relationship after her and before me. Although she and my boyfriend are divorced, I'm uncomfortable because she and my boyfriend are still very good friends.

Here are my reasons:
- When I first started dating him, we admitted to each other that we both have an ex we think we'll always care about (although several months into our relationship he told me that he understands why it never worked out for him and his ex-wife because he never would have met me if it had)
- He says she'll always be a close friend.
- He attended his ex-wife's wedding (this was a few years before I met him, but I'm still uncomfortable by it because who does that?)
- She visits Massachusetts once or twice a year to visit friends, and whenever she's here, she always stops by to see my boyfriend. She even greets him with a kiss!
- I get a vibe that she doesn't like me. She seems condescending towards me. My boyfriend says she's just wary about the age difference, but I feel like she should have no opinion because they're divorced! I did meet her husband (and their kids) and he seems very nice.
- He travels with her when they go overseas for charity work and they stay in the same hotel room! (It happened once since I started dating him, but he told me they'd done it before. We had an argument over it and he said they'd stay in separate hotel rooms from now on, but it still bothers me that he even did it!)
  • They're weirdly close.
    Vote A
  • I'm too sensitive.
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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- They talk on the phone “just to catch up”. Who does this with an ex?
- When she needs help, she calls him first. (Who calls their ex-husband for help?)
- About a week ago, my boyfriend told me that they are starting a non-profit organization
that seeks to help victims of human trafficking and raise awareness of the issue. They've already done a lot of charity work together (built a school in Congo, one in Afghanistan, bought conservation land, and go on medical volunteer trips)


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What Guys Said 2

  • sometimes after u breakup with someone coz "obviously" they know that it will never work out between them, so that means breaking up with good terms, so u have to know that he still care about her and he wants her to be happy, while he is neglecting his "jealousy and ego". Anyway look to the way they started dating until getting marriage, were they friends before having smth?

    • He told me they've been friends since he was 12, but I still think they're acting weirdly for an ex-husband and ex-wife who claim they're 'just friends'.

  • You just got to make it explicit and step your foot down. Sometimes you have to get your point across even if it's harsh.


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