My ex boyfriend was arrested on April 27 for domestic violence. he choked me, hit me, and pulled my hair while I was driving my car. there were people around who saw it and called the cops. we were not allowed to speak until June 13, which is when I dropped the charges. I waited a few weeks then contacted him because I felt we needed to have a conversation. we were together for 3 years he was my best friend and I felt he owed me an apology, a thank you, and some sort of closure. I tried contacting him a few times and never heard from him. I was hearing from people that he did not want to talk to me so I figured ill never hear from him again I should move on. towards the beginning of July I hooked up with this guy. he's been a friend of mine for years and means nothing to me romantically but we were both drunk and it happened. it was that one time and I was so ashamed of myself afterwards because I was still in love with my boyfriend. that's not like me, im not that type of girl. I've beat myself up over it ever since because I truly love my ex. so finally 2 weeks ago I heard from him. he texted me saying "ive thought about things and I think its a good idea we talk". so we met up the next day, talked for 2 hours and decided to give this another try but we had to take time to think about everything. then I heard from him again a week ago and he asked to meet again. he said he wanted to be with me and I agreed. I truly love him regardless of what he did that day in my car. I had to be honest with him though, because he asked if I had been with anyone else sexually.. and I couldn't lie to him. I told him the truth. he cried and cried and said he could never be with me again, not even in 5 years, 10 years, or if I bought him a house or a car. he blocked my number and all social media accounts and said he has to forget me and move on. he said I was tainted but that I was his best friend and he wanted to marry me one day. did I really so something horrible?
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I'm bothered with not only his actions but yours as well. It's not my relationship and it pisses ME off that he'd say to you that "he'd never be able to forgive or forget what you did". Break this down for you a bit simpler he physically assaulted you. I won't lecture you on domestic violence, but only to say unless he's getting counseling or help with his anger issues nothing will ever change his behavior. Also, you didn't screw up. He abused you and went to jail and YOU reached out to him after dropping the charges. It seems to me that he's very arrogant and immature in thinking that you owe him anything after what he'd done. Yes you slept with someone but he's trying now to make your actions comparable to his and that's anything but true. His far out weigh your mistake (if that is what it truly was, a mistake) Sounds to me he's now using this as a means to make you feel like you are the bad person here and that you are the one that did him wrong so he can have that power back and make you feel like shit instead of focusing on what he's done. Do yourself a favor... please please please be done with this idiot. I've seen guys like him my whole life and even women are like that. They're toxic in a relationship and you deserve better. This isn't anything to do with him wanting you to forgive him. It's all about him having power over the situation because now in his mind you're the one that's done wrong against him. Long forgotten in his mind what he did to you now cause the focus is on your screw up and not his. Good luck!1