How do you deal with breakups right after they happened?

I know I'll be fine and I know I'll find someone else. I know all that. But even knowing that, it just really really hurts right now.

I just ended things with my bf for the right reasons. He didn't love me after being together for almost 2 years. If he doesn't love me by now, then he never will.

And that hurts. That hurts so much. Once I get over this hurt, I won't care about him abymkte.

But how do I deal with this heart break in the meantime? How do I make it hurt less?

Please help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone thinks that love hurts, but the truth is that rejection hurts. It makes us feel small. Unworthy. It makes us think that something is wrong with us. Also... when you end things with a person, it's natural to feel hurt. To end it, the most helpful ways are inventing distractions. Take up a new hobby, watch new TV shows, Take classes of things that you love, Socialize with your girl friends, Go for a little shopping spree, because lets face it, Nothing cheers up a woman like shopping. Also, when you do introspect about your relationship, don't stop. Just think about it. It was a one way thingy. You forgot how it felt to have someone love and care for you and when that person didn't, you still continued to love him. Some things are just not meant to be. Nonetheless, when you do meet the right person, you'll laugh about the time when you were this sad. And who knows? Maybe this breakup will lead to you picking up new hobbies and turning into a more awesome person? There's a silver lining everywhere. Just gotta look for it. Hope this helped :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hope u r ready for some strong words, i'm telling u in advance so that u won't get hurt. Because I've done "research" on breakups (mostly by experience and not in theory), so I know exactly what u r going through. U r feeling bad bcoz u still love him, though it was u who broke up with him. So there could be one of the following 2 things:
    1. He still loves you. If he does, then it must be for a practical reason that he's not showing his love, and I feel u could stick on with him and work out a relationship - that is ONLY if you still love him.
    2. He doesn't love you. I think you have wasted too much time expecting him to love you. I would advise to please move on. And don't feel guilty. He didn't love you in the first place, so he had no right to lead you on till now.

    So, please do some hard thinking, keeping ego aside, and deal with the real issues, and if possible reunite. if you are very sure, then don't look back. I'm sure you won't feel bad for the breakup after that!

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What Guys Said 4

  • I would say just hit up your trusted friends to vent to for starters. Do anything you can to keep yourself from thinking about him and what happened.

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  • I know it's cliche but time will heal this wound. It sucks but it's just part of the break up process. In the mean time just try and spend as much time occupying yourself with other things. Be it work/school, being with friends or family, engaging in hobbies etc. If you're ok with seeing another guy then do that. I'm not sure if women are the same in this respect, but for me, when I break up with a girl, the easiest and quickest way to get over it is to find another girl that interests me and that takes an interest in me. Then I forget all about the last one. Hope this helps!

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  • i asked the same questions a lot. I've had my heart broken and know that time is the best medicine. but this last break up i had was the worst ever. i wanted a quick way out. i know it sounds cliche but i had to realize that i'm a good guy. ya i've made mistakes but I've learned from them. if the other person doesn't want u anymore it's their loss. you have to get tired of missing and crying over them. get mad. but essentially it's time that heals the wounds. just try and keep yourself busy. go out with friends whenever u can and meet new people. venting on here also helps. i like to think i give good advice but it's hard to take your own u know? u already know what u SHOULD do. just go on with it.

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  • Fuck someone else asap

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'm sorry for your pain, sweetie, however, you Did the right thing. Breaking Up with someone you've been with a long time, have grown with, nurtured and nursed a Real Relationship with, is never easy to break free from.
    It took me years to get over my First Love, who I split with. We were only 16, but had been together for 3 years, and because he was still wet behind the ears a bit, although he loved me, he wasn't as Attentive as I had wanted. I finally found Closure at 21 when we both me up before he got married. However, in between the sheets, I also found that in between those Hard luck years of trying to find love, it wasn't working because I was Constantly Comparing other guys to Him. That nite I realized----I didn't feel the same anymore, for It just wasn't the Same Anymore. I could move on...
    You will too. It's still a fresh war wound, so for now, take your time and do some soul searching of How, with all the history you both had, could he have ever stopped 'Loving' someone who gave All of her love, time, effort into a 2 year relationship? It's a way to find some comfort, a closure, for licking your wounds is a way to Deal with the pain, and eventually with time, it will get easier. Then you will Know when it's Time to get back out there and Begin your Beguine with friends again. Take your time. Don't push yourself. Your head And your head need to heal. And a close friend or family member always helps too.
    However, another word from the wise: Breaking up doesn't always mean :Good bye, my love." Being you Both were in this long term love, you May, after some time, Hear from him again. He may find he's missed you, he's sorry, try to get you back. Or come up with his line to keep you On His line: "Let's do a friends with benefits, and see what happens later on."
    Buyer beware, as the saying goes. With an 'EX' 'X" Marks Your Soft spot. However, if you fall for it, hook, line and sinker, you Could find yourself right back in the same boat.
    Good luck. xx

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    • ... Your head and your Heart need to heal...

  • Have a good cry and then try to occupy yourself with things that make you happy.

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  • I got over my break by praying and exercise

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