My wife has left me because I have a sexual addiction after 18 years of marige?

I'll try to make sense I hope. I have a sexual addiction of which I have put Amanda through for the last 18 years of marriage , I lookup sexual related material on the computer and on my phone and I have pictures in my shed every where , my wife 7 days ago I know what I have done was wrong and has hurt her and ruined any trust that she had to me. Since she left my heart has been ripped out just like what I've done to my wife, karma on me I guess in know I've done wrong. The first couple of days I took her flowers and tried to tell her that I'm sorry and that I love her but I feel like it's just pushing her away from me. I don't want to lose her or the kids, since Amanda left me I've been to the doctor for medication to help me calm down and to the family help centre for help which I have told them every thing. I'm now trying to see a psychologist for help I've also made contact with a group called sexual addiction anomose a bit like AA. I gave my kids my phone and computer and they deleted everything off then the kids and me helped me burn everything else the was sexual related. I want Amanda to know that I really am trying to make a change and that I want to change fore the better. I just want my wife back I fell like she has just given up and doesn't want to bother with me I don't know how to get her back I don't know what I should do or even be doing I want help and I know I need help what do I do we were a family should we be working this out as a family HELP
I was brought up in a very degrading childhood now I'm doing the same to my wife and kids I don't even know that I'm doing it treating the people that I love like this I hated my parents for a long time because of this I didn't want to do the same
Thanks Factualgirl I may have pressed the wrong link on your answer don't know what the ^symbol is
I've suggested that we go somewhere together (marige councile ) but she is just blocking me out


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you are doing everything you can to change. Maybe you just need to give your wife some space for now, because she probably doesn't believe that you will change. Just keep working on your issues and show her that you can change. I think she will come around eventually

    • I'm trying to give her some space but we still need to talk about other everyday issues and the kids etc missing her so much I hope your right in that she will see I'm trying to change

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  • It's a complicated situation, and what have you done by now is a good start and a proof that you wanna change. Right now, more than presents and "I'm sorry" what you need as a couple is communication; i think she is more angry because you look for pleasure in other stuff when she was next to you all this time (wouldn't you feel bad if you find your wife try to relieve her sexual hunger by looking other men? wouldn't you feel like you are not enough or attractive anymore?). Why don't you look for help as a couple as well? With the guidance from a specialist both of you can reach a way to comfort this and find a solution in which both of you would be satisfy, happy and confidence would appear again. It's gonna be hard at the beginning but it's worthy. She might refuse now, just keep trying and be after her and she may give it a try. Good luck :)

    • Thanks , I'm not getting any communication at the moment I hope she will eventually before its to late should I wait for her to talk to me or do i try and talk to her I don't want to push her away either I'm finding it hard to know what to do as my head is a mess at the moment

  • Well I suggest that you take all that "sexual energy" and put it towards ur wife. It would be different if you were single but ur married so you have to either please her the best way you can or give that habit up. When yu get married a lot of sacrifices has to be made. you did it for a reason.

    • I can see now that I had a very good life 3 healthy kids healthy and good looking wife with breast implants house car and bike payed off and now I have ruined it all ruined my life and the life of others I wish she could see how sorry I really am

  • There really is nothing more you can do, but apologize and ask for forgiveness.

    You already realized that you hurt her and went out on a limb to make things right.

    Good Luck. hopefully she'll see that you've changed and will forgive you.

    • But personally I don't really see what's so bad.

      I do think you went to far when you had pics in your phone, but many married people or just people in relationships watch p*rn both the man and the women.

      It's not like you actually cheated on her by having sex or talked sexually to a girl to get the pics.

      But that's just my opinion do what you feel is right.

    • I'm trying to apologise but she just doesn't want to even listen to me she just says that she wants to be away from me I've been begging her for forgiveness but she do deny want to listen

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