Has anyone broken up to get their emotional/mental state back in order? Did you get back together?

My (just recently titled) ex and I hadn't dated for very long, but had experienced a very strong connection. We both not only met, but exceded each others desires for the "dream partner," and were very comfortable with each other almost instantly. The beginning stage of the relationship can only last so long though, and obviously we reached that point where you begin to see without the rose colored glasses. I have a tendency to cling, it's something I'm aware of and an trying to work on, but it hadn't been a problem with him since he had desired just as much time, affection, and togetherness as I had. Until we began talking about his past. He's been hurt alot, and a lot of things came to the surface that he thought he'd dealt with but had actually just buried. Things became different for us, and he began to pull away. I did the exact thing that you're not supposed to do, chasing after him, when really this behavior further pushed him. Then, he decided we should break up. He claimed that it was solely because he needs to deal with his past and all the pain and issues he still has. He said he needed to do it alone, because he was taught that you shouldn't be with someone if you don't have your shit together and that he didn't think it was fair to make me wait when he wasn't sure how long it would take. I told him the time didn't matter, because being with him was worth waiting for and that I have some things that I can be working on too, such as my insecurities that cause me to cling, and that maybe this could be good for the both of us as individuals. When I asked him if this break up was permanent, he said he didn't want it to be. He wanted a future for us, but he had no idea when that could happen. We'll be writing each other letters to keep in touch.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone's experienced something like this before. Did it work out between you? Do you think it could for us? I suppose I'm just really scared that it's really the end and afraid to hope.


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What Guys Said 1

  • i went through the same thing. let them try to contact you. if you stop hearing from them and they apparently don't care that you're possibly moving on then thats a huge signal. move on with your life. if they love you they'll contact you. let them chase u and realize what they had.


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