I need help forgetting about this relationship?

I broke up with my boyfriend very recently after he emotionally abused me, paid other women for sex, doing and dealing drugs despite the traumatizing things that have happened to my loved ones, and having the habit of being perfect one moment and then terrible to me the next. For a year I"ve been stuck in this emotional, depressing rollercoaster and I've completely lost my sense of self-worth. I don't want to go back to him, but I'm afraid that I will be weak or only remember the good, and make a mistake. I feel like I am still in denial, so how to I accept this and move on with my life?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Doing things you enjoy and having a good support system around you will help.
    But going deeper and helping yourself is a big piece of the pie. This sounds ridiculous but.

    Keep a journal. Write everything in it. Everyday. Everything you did. Who you talked to, about what. What did you eat. Thoughts, feelings, emotions. Did you think of the relationship? did you laugh, cry?

    Write down everything. Get your emotions to come out in your written words (this usually takes a bit of practice). If something made you laugh that day. Write it, laugh as your writing.
    Write what you feel. Yell in your writing. If you feel like crying, do it. Scream. Swear. Whatever it takes. Good times, bad times, in the relationship or otherwise.

    The best part is you write what you want, where you want, HOW you want. And no-one can get offended. This book is about you. And ONLY FOR you.

    Every weekend go back and read what you wrote that week. You'll be asking yourself questions. Why did that bother me? How could I have been so stupid? I knew my boss was a jerk!! Ok not a question, but you get the idea. ;-)

    It will will give you a different perception on your life. It's very therapeutic.

    This helps get you past bad experiences. Not make the same mistakes. Relive good times. It helps a lot.

    You can do this journal on your computer if you want. Personally I use a coil notebook. I can take it anywhere and write at anytime.

    You're the person that knows you best. You're the person who can help you the most.


Most Helpful Girl

  • go no contact. block his number.


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What Guys Said 4

  • It sounds like focusing on yourself would be ideal. If an action or person seems threatening to the plan of building yourself back up from this relationship, leave it alone. Doing whatever makes you happy and surrounding yourself with a positive group of supporters can be great

  • Focus on yourself, keep yourself busy, and accept the fact that you know things didn't work out . Also Do the NC rule it will help you

  • you have to get your mind of of him completely.. Seriously.. he dragged you through hell yeah there might be some attributes that you find attractive from him but you need to accept the fact that he's simply doesn't care about you or your feelings... Paying women for sex... just that alone is extremely depressing in the sense that He had not a thought of you while he made those actions... You need to keep negative people like him away from you... Guys like that usually end up really really shitty situations unfortunately... I'm very sorry this happened but it doesn't seem fair to you... Go out with friends meet new people create new experiences with someone that cares about you.


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