say you and your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up because legally you had no other choice. for example, my boyfriend was arrested for hitting me, choking me, and pulling my hair (I didn't call the cops, other people did). I dismissed the charges and even called him afterwards so we could discuss everything that happened and see what we wanted to do. call me crazy and stupid, but I wasn't ready to move on or give up on the relationship. It took over a month for me to hear from him so I hooked up with another guy (we had sex).. it didn't mean anything it was just casual drunk sex after the bar one night.. I feel slutty and dirty for doing it but please understand the emotional state I was in and the hurt and betrayal and confusion I was feeling. I was just trying to move on. finally I heard from my ex boyfriend and we wanted to try to make things work again. he asked me if I had been with anyone sexually and I couldn't lie to him so I told him the truth. he said he has to forget I ever existed and move on with his life completely, despite the fact that he loves me and thought we would get married. we were together for 3 years and before that we were really good friends and always had a "thing" but couldn't do anything about it because I had a boyfriend. was I wrong in hooking up with another guy and trying to move on with my life? did I really do something that is so unforgiveable? if I can forgive him for what he did, he should forgive me. and I was honest with him, I could have lied but chose to do the right thing and be honest. why can't he forgive me? why is everything all my fault? he messed up too, and I forgave him.
really need opinions and advice. please be brutally honest. I feel so much guilt and I know its not right. thank you.
Most Helpful Guy
Ongoing relationships, in my view, constitutes effective communication, among other things. Thus, his silence and lack of effort to communicate his intent in regards to the relationship would likely be considered to many as a measure indicative of someone who is moving on.
You are not wrong for assuming that he moved on. Thus, you are not wrong for seeing someone else.1
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Most Helpful Girl
Don't feel bad for hooking up with someone. You two were not together and you did nothing wrong. You said so yourself that you were upset, confused and in need emotionally. The guy you were with gave you what you needed in that moment.
Besides, your ex should be more concerned with setting things right with you rather than getting upset. If he truly loves you, he would want to be a better man and try to win you back. Not tell you that what you did was so wrong and now he has to forget about you.
It sounds to me like he's pretty jealous and not really the best thing for you.
in my opinion it's best to let him go and move on. There are many great guys out there who will treat you right and not hurt you physically and emotionally.
Everything is NOT your fault. If anything, it's mainly his fault for how he treated you.0