Would you get back with your bf/gf if you broke up for a little while but they hooked up with someone else in the meantime?

even if it was just a casual hook up, not dating or spending any time together nothing like that... literally just hooking up with the person. would you feel hurt and betrayed? would you forgive the person and still want to be with them if you loved them enough?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • maybe. it would depend on how long the break was.

    I wouldn't and couldn't consider it cheating but lets just say it was only a week long break, I would wonder why in that week that we were on a break (presumably to get our heads straight) the person felt drawn and the need to go out and hook up with someone.

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    • it would depend on the how long the break was and the reason for the break

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    • clearly he needs help. but why is what I did so bad? if I am willing to forgive him and I was HONEST with him when he didn't deserve a damn thing from me, why can he not forgive me? he's completely blocked me on every form of communication possible. do you think he will ever forgive me? he said he needs to forget about me completely and has even blocked my friends and family. do you think he needs to just calm down or should I just forget it and move on?

    • it's not so bad. it's just a blow to his ego. essentially he just feels like you aren't the "pure" idyllic person that he saw you as because you hooked up with someone else. I think you need to move on. between him being physically violent with you and then unrealistic expectations about what you're supposed to when single (and when he's not responding) it just sounds like this guy is way too much maintenance.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I am gonna get hated for this but first...

    I am still very in love with my ex and if he did this, I couldn't love him anymore.

    I am not seconds. Not your trash that you can return to when you want.

    So as much as it kills me (which it does) I would have to say no.

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    • if he did what specifically? hit you? or everything I mentioned (ignoring my phone calls and texts for a month, not reaching out to me, etc)?

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    • clearly he needs help. but why is what I did so bad? if I am willing to forgive him and I was HONEST with him when he didn't deserve a damn thing from me, why can he not forgive me? he's completely blocked me on every form of communication possible. do you think he will ever forgive me? he said he needs to forget about me completely and has even blocked my friends and family. do you think he needs to just calm down or should I just forget it and move on?

    • STOP IT.

      This is what abuse victims do!! They blame it on themselves!! "but why is what I did so bad? " Nothing. You did nothing wrong. He is messed up. Nothing you can do for him. Just forget it and move on. Yuo can't help fucked up people.

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What Guys Said 3

  • The question is funny because if you loved them enough you wouldn't have left them or you would have found a way to stay together. But as far as getting back with them and being hurt. I would have my ego bruised if that happen even though I have no reason too, we aren't together and they go do what they please. I never wanted to be with a gf again after breaking up so I can't answer that other part.

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    • what if you weren't together because your boyfriend was arrested for hitting you so you tried to move on then he came back in your life wanting to be together again.. cause that's what happened with me. the person I hooked up with is a friend of mine (and someone my ex never got along with).. but there has never been anything romantic between the two of us he is strictly just a friend. and my boyfriend HIT me and then waited 2 months and tried to contact me again but found out I had hooked up with another guy after saying he wanted to try to fix things.

  • if you were officially not together you can´t blame him. that´s would also count for girls respectively.

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    • what if you weren't together because your boyfriend was arrested for hitting you so you tried to move on then he came back in your life wanting to be together again.. cause that's what happened with me. the person I hooked up with is a friend of mine (and someone my ex never got along with).. but there has never been anything romantic between the two of us he is strictly just a friend. and my boyfriend HIT me and then waited 2 months and tried to contact me again but found out I had hooked up with another guy after saying he wanted to try to fix things.

    • to me it´s easy: he hit you? fuck this douche ! there would no way, we could ever be back together again. i know it´s easy for me to say that because it´s not reality in my case.
      if the person i am romantically interested in hits people, i`d break up (if it wasn´t self defense)
      if he hits me, i will ban her out ouf my life.

    • got a bit confused with he and her :D but i think you get what i was saying.

  • Yep ceexmama said it.

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    • what if it was with someone you both know and it was sex?

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    • Okay, now that I know more details this is just too messy. I say move on. Clean slate and all.

    • did I really do something wrong? why can't he "forgive" me and see the situation for what it really was?

What Girls Said 4

  • I don't think that a hook up while not being in a committed relationship should factor into the equation unless it was with someone you both know.

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    • what if it was with someone you both know? and it was sex?

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    • No you didn't do anything terrible at all. If anything maybe he's more upset that in a sense HE drove you away because of his actions. Don't beat yourself up over this. He is at fault here for laying his hands on you and you guys were not together. Him saying that you are "tainted" what the eff is up with that. Honestly, maybe him disappearing on you is a good thing. You don't want someone in your life who puts a value on you based on your "sexual pureness". I say just stop trying to get a hold of him, he's the one who messed up here not you. Move on.

    • Instead of focusing on what you did. You need to really focus on what lead up to it. The ABUSE and the emotional pain that this person has caused you. You are in no way wrong for trying to move on with your life. Just let it be, its better for you to not go back to this person who was harming you.

  • There shouldn't be a problem with that just as long as he doesn't get in the habit of continuing to sleep with her. I was the in-between girl with my best friend until he got back together with her. He's never had any desire to sleep with me once he had her back, but keeps me close. :)

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  • i probably would feel a little bit awkward but get over it. if we were officially broken up it's free game.

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  • No, because I'm a virgin. He might have did it to have sex with someone. Then thinks he can get back with me.

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