Why did my friend break up with his ex this way?

I have a friend. His wife recently cheated only him. He kicked her out of the house. However, her father recently passed away from cancer and she was devastated. After her dad's funeral my friend showed up to her home and everyone thought they would make amends. He gave her a gift. She was happy. However, the gift was divorce papers! She fell apart and passed out. He laughed and left. I understand he was hurt by her betrayal. But did he go too far?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She got what she deserved! He didn't go to far! to cheat in a relationship is horrible. BUt to cheat in a marriage! A MARRIAGE!! He devoted his heart to her! He VOWED to love her forever and she did the same and to just step out of that is infuriating! If i were him, I wouldn't ever be able to understand. She deserved it!

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    • :D Now you truly understand.

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    • EXACTLY!! She would get praised for being so strong. But since it was a man he is an asshole! It makes no sense!

    • Yeah, it makes me mad.

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What Girls Said 9

  • What I'd like to know is...

    What led her to cheat?

    It's your friend, so of course you're going to defend him, and in this case, justify him. But he's not our friend. So before we think he is the nicest guy on earth, I want to know what led this woman to cheat on him (was he cheating on her or flirting around, pushing her to then cheat? was he neglectful, misunderstanding of her, were there previous problems?). Of course, we don't have sympathy for cheaters. Nobody likes them. But personally, what he did to her doesn't speak well of a man. Like someone else said here, I wonder what bullshit this guy would be capable of doing.

    If my boyfriend cheated on me after many years of relationship, yes, I'd be fucking pissed off, but I have enough character to know better than to go to his place and among a mournful family throw divorce papers at him and the laugh as he passes out. My opinion? He's not a really good person if he's capable of behaving like such a bitch. A better way to handle it would be to do this in private, to show you are actually a better person than the cheater. To show your fucking class and to walk away with a bit of honor. Cheaters are human disappointments, but in this case, I don't see him as something any kinder.

    In all honesty, I wouldn't date a guy that did this to his ex-wife, no matter if I was the "new girl". If I found out he did this, I would leave in a heartbeat and avoid this idiot. The girl is scummy, and on top of mourning her dad, she'll also be mourning a relationship, but she'll get over it. Probably they didn't even go well together, so they'll be better off separated. Over time though, your friend will realize he went too far. That's not what a truly good person would do.

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    • Nah I say he hasn't gone far enough. :D

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    • No doubt.

    • They both need to grow up before dating other people.

  • I mean it was a little harsh but I don't feel sorry for her at all. Karma's a full blown bitch and has a funny way of kicking you in the ass at the least convenient of times. Oh well.

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    • I did feel sorry for her. But now I don't. She had a part in this. Cheating is just wrong.

    • It's pretty much the biggest slap in the face you can deliver to someone in my opinion. He handed her his heart and she basically took a giant shit on it. So no, she doesn't deserve pity. I'm sorry that her father died but I'm not sorry about what her husband did. Now she knows what it feels like when someone has no regards for feelings.

    • Her father dying is what I feel bad about. But you don't cheat on somebody thinking it won't come back on you. Karma is real and it will kick you when you're down.

  • Nope you sadly reap what you sew. Its very hard for a woman to cheat (well for me; I still pretend Im married to my husband and he couldnt careless about me) so for her to do that to him was far from being a wife and he dealt with it ordinarily.

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  • It was wrong for her to cheat but two wrongs don't make a right. Her dad's death is way more important and way worse than her cheating during her relationship. I understand that he's hurt but the world doesn't revolve around his feelings.

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    • Well look at it this way. She didn't care about his feelings so why should he care about hers.

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    • Well that all depends. Let's say you parents were nothing but abusive. Then yes cheating is worse. And also when you marry someone it is THAT damn important. There's supposed to be a level of trust and commitment.

    • I totally understand that. Cheating is bad & should never be done. What I'm saying is that there's appropriate & inappropriate anger for every situation. & I can name a bunch of things that are way worse than cheating, even though cheating is very bad.

  • he acted like a total jerk who was just seeking revenge, and it was not the right time.

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    • Nah I say it was perfect timing.

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    • How can you defend her? She cheated. She doesn't deserve any sympathy. I am sorry her dad died.

    • This action just shows what type of guy he is

  • Yeah he went waaaay too far. That was heartless, selfish, and cruel.

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    • But she wasn't?

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    • *Where's the fun in that?

    • I'm not above having a little revenge but I wouldn't stoop to that level. There is a time and a place. He was selfish for dragging their issues into the equation on a day like that. And if you don't find ANYTHING AT ALL wrong with how he handled that then there is no sense in continuing this convo.

  • To be honest, I would do the same. However, it is not the right thing to do. I feel that even though he was hurt, he should have divorced from her after the funeral ended and then left with peace. We have to let Karma get them, and taking revenge is also a sin. Let life get them and destroy them, and if it doesn't happen, then let it be. The dedicated husband is an amazing human being and the wife must be forgiven for her sins. That is the Christian way, though I do not say it is the only way. Again, out of frustration I would be happy to get revenge, but it doesn't make it right.

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  • Wow what a dick. I understand he's upset and all and might want revenge. But that's not ok at all. No wonder she cheated. I can just imagine what type of person he is.

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    • Maybe he was the nicest guy there was until he found out she cheated. You basically blame him for her cheating which is ridiculous.

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    • He's all to blame for how he served divorce papers. He's just not a good person. And everyone here agreeing with what he did are all heartless. Nothing and I mean nothing short of mirder justifies what he did. And he laughed! What a fucking asshole

      And I know you also know he went too far. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question.

    • Stop with the double standards. She is much to blame as he is.

  • damn, that's really heartless and shocking. Well, she did betray him...

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    • That's what I said. Hard for me to feel sympathy for a cheater.

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    • I get it. They're your friends only.

    • exactly! I don't want them as something more, and if I did I'd be direct. so wbu, do you ever hang around girls only?

What Guys Said 4

  • DAYUMMMMM!
    THAT TOOK F**KING BALLS!

    IMO, he went too far on that. There's a thin line between getting back at someone and being absolutely disrespectful. Now, her and her whole family were going through a really bad time because her Father just died. What he should have done is attended the funeral for respect and left. After things had settled, THEN he should have blown out the divorce papers.

    You see, I can totally understand why she "deserved it". However, it was terrible timing. Why? Well, if he had just gone to the funeral and waited, he wouldn't have looked like a bad guy. He would have been the mature and humble victim. Now that he foolishly did that HE now looks like the asshole, the aggressor, the immature one, the assaulter. It didn't make them even, it made all of the bad vibes shift on to him instead.

    If he had waited, there's nothing anyone could really accuse him of. He'd still be highly respected by everyone and MAYBE members of her family would take his side. However, now he has no one on his side and in the divorce court (This is only a possibility) she might get more of his "stuff" for damages. She could also sue him.

    See my point? It's not that she didn't set herself up for it, it was that he made himself worse by doing it that way.

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  • We make mistakes, we all do. This was your friends, very selfish and very inappropriate. He could have waited 2-4 weeks later. I know I would have not at the damn funeral. Real asshole move, even if she what? had sex with another man/woman. He basically got the revenge by throwing her out, but! then again this could easily be a double standard. If the sex roles where changed, would people care? would the reactions be different? Are men viewed with less sympathy? Do we not feel pain for a loss of a loved one?
    Food 4 Thought.

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    • Honestly, she deserves it. Cheaters don't deserve sympathy. At first I felt bad. But now I don't.

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    • She did it to herself. Was it cruel? Of course. But she cheated on him. You lose the right for sympathy once you do that.

    • Exactly! So if the roles where opposite and the guy cheated on the girl, she kicked him out. Then she found out about the funeral and sent either her lawyer goon or some asshole server during the funeral in the rain. It would suck! but many people would say He got whats his. Its sexist how people dont think of opposite roles and if they would still "root" for the same sex or party because of their ability to pull themselves out and answer honestly, yes it was salt on the wound to get those papers during the funeral. But she shouldn't have been cheating to begin with, and maybe she would be holding her husbands hand at the funeral not divorce papers.

  • Honestly I say she deserves it. I meaning having someone you love cheat on you hurts really bad. And some people are never able to recover from it and can become different people. So basically she made him like that.

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