I recently broke up with my girlfreind of a year and half. I really cared about her, and still really care about her. When we broke up, we were so clouded by other things going on, we lost track of eachother. We broke up because I thought we had started to lose our way (but it was really just bad timing, we could of fixed it and rebuilt our relationship, but now its too late). she's about to go to school, and there's nothing more I want then to be apart of her life, but we agreed starting a relationship wouldn't be fair for us, since we'd have no time to restart. So we decided to have an open door. The past month and half has been the worst time of my life, I have been really moody, angry, heartbroken, but mostly I missed the girl I was in love with. I was happy with. And I have not been able to cope with this in a good way at all. To top it all off, I found out she went to the college within 2 weeks of us breaking up, and got drunk and made out with a guy. AND I KNOW its not my business but I am so angry! Like she acted like our relationship was nothing if she got over it that quick. She was drunk, drunk people regret things, but its seriously broke my heart. And I'm still sitting here, hoping she comes back for me. Should I feel this angry, jealous, confused? We both mutually have feelings for each other, but I think she may be more moved on then she said, which would put me right to the grave..
Most Helpful Girl
It sounds to me like this whole "open door" thing is not really working. It doesn't seem like it will ever work. You need to either break up completely or get back to being totally exclusive. I would recommend the harder of the two though, because after she has made out with this guy and hurt you, it will be incredibly hard for things to go back to the way they were.
Now, I would never judge you for how angry, confused, and jealous you are. Those are actually quite understandable... QUITE understandable, but I cannot give you any magical advice that is just going to make those feelings go away. Feelings like that don't just disappear or get better instantly. They cool off gradually over time. So the best thing to do here is to do just that, give it time. A lot of time. If you are not sure if you are over it, you probably aren't.
Things that will help you but not cure you are staying away from her. Cutting off contact completely. I know this sounds harsh and it may be difficult and painful at the beginning, but if you have the strength to do it, do it... it will help you in the long run and then you will feel better about yourself for it in the future.1
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