Here's the thing though, she is having a lot of trouble at work and issues in other areas of her life, and I don't want to add to her problems. After all, I usually support her through her lows.
So, how do I time a break up? Do I want until she is in a secure place in other areas of her life? Or would that ruin a good time? Do I break up at a low point? Or would that be too much to take?
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Just because she loves you does not mean she will undertsnad. Us women have a knack for overreacting and becoming compulsive in times of sadness or when we feel unsecure in such an extreme way.
I have before waited until a boyfriend has been in a secure place in his life, and the result was good. We remained friends, and the breakup was gentle and he was able to grieve quickly and recover quickly also.
You do not break up at a low point, even if you have to make it through a few more hours until she's more able to think sanely.
You do it gently, and talk to her politely and respectfully. Something along the linesof exactly what you wrote in the first line of the question details.
Whatever you do, please please be gentle, be kind and support her, like how you usually do. Just tell her you're there for her, allow her to grieve and release all of her emotions. I know some people say its easier to rip the band aid off quicker and then run off so she can hate you, but the most sane and kind breakup I went through, I'm actually still his friend. Just be kind.1