He said he loves me - then breaks up with me the next day - two weeks later is in another relationship?

I started seeing a guy approximately 2 months after him and his ex-girlfriend of 7 years broke up. We didn't get in an official relationship until 2 months after seeing each other and getting to know each other. Once in our relationship, everything was going great. He was going through a lot of financial problems because his ex took him for almost everything and they had two kids together, so transitioning from seeing his kids daily to a few times a month was very difficult for him. I did a lot for this guy. I comforted him, allowed him to vent about everything, I helped him renovate his condo (and paid for most of the work), I paid off his phone bill (he said he would pay me back, but never did) and I tried making every moment together very enjoyable. After a few weeks of dating, he was really going into a deep depression - to the point where it was affecting me (because I really cared for him). I told him I was always going to be there for him. He started drinking a lot more and when he drank he would either get hostile, or express how much he loved me and how I was the best thing that has ever walked into his life. He then started breaking up with me - getting back together - breaking up, etc. It was really messing with my head, because I had no idea what he wanted. Every time I tried to talk about our relationship, he would snap and say "I have too much to deal with than to talk about relationship crap". It got to the point where I was getting so confused and frustrated because I had no idea what he wanted and he was not giving me straight up answers so, I had to just walk away. When I asked him while he was working if I could go to his condo and get my things - he said "okay" so, I took all my things from his condo. He started calling me crazy - he even called the cops on me for taking MY things. After that happened, we stopped talking - two and a half weeks later I noticed that he got in a relationship with someone else. I was so hurt. Why would he do this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, He More Than Likely Still Thinking About His Past Relationship, The Reason Why You Guys Were Working Out In The BEGINNING Was Because y'all Were Going through The "Honeymoon Phase." EVERY Relationship (For The Most Part) Goes through That. Be Grateful That This Relationship Is Over & For That New Girl He Is Seeing, Things Will Most Likley Go Downhill Too. In Reality He Either Wants His Ex & Kids Back Or Just His Kids. Move On & Find A Man That isn't Going through All The Mess He Was Going Thru, Be Strong & Be Positive...

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What Guys Said 5

  • You sound like an amazing woman. I'm sorry that he used you. He seems like he is confused and doesn't know what he is doing with himself therefore he probably isn't mentally ready for a real relationship. Once again, I'm sorry that he used you in that way and I hope you can find someone who appreciates your kindness and good will.

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  • Maybe you did exactly what he wanted you to do, renovate his condo. It also sounds as if you were his rebound. Never date a person who just got out of a relationship.

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    • I most definitely was a rebound even though he constantly said it wasn't a rebound during our relationship. I guess it bothers me that he took advantage of me and is now with someone else.

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    • Would you say the new girl is an escape (rebound) too?

    • Perhaps. A seven year breakup takes more than a few months to get over.

  • He is an asshole.
    Move on.
    Sounds like he is the problem. Definitely not you.
    Also sounds to me like he is a drama queen.
    There is someone better for you out there. :)

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    • It's hard not to think that I did something wrong. Like I wasn't good enough for him considering he's with someone else now.

    • Do not think that. Sounds like he was not the one for you. The one for you will shower all his attention on you. He will treat you with respect. He will make you happy. Don't dwell on it. Someone out there will appreciate you.

  • I always tell girls, "Any guy can say he loves you. I can even train a parrot to say "I love you." it doesn't mean a damn thing. Guys will tell you what you want to hear."

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What Girls Said 3

  • he obviously doesn't know what he wants or what he is doing. that relationship probably isn't going to last either. don't beat yourself up too much, he isn't worth it.

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  • Maybe because he was so hurt previously that he finds it too hard to get too close again... maybe he can't cope with completely serious after his ex...

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  • You became his mother and not his lover. Never offer to financially support a guy if you aren't getting married. I also think the reverse is true a man shouldn't pay the girls rent and stuff either

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    • I wasn't financially supporting him. I just paid for things for his condo and paid that bill that I expected him to pay back (he only partially paid it and refuses to pay the rest because I took some of the things I paid for back)

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