My boyfriend keeps on leaving me then coming back. Why?

I have an amazing boyfriend who treats me very well. He shows me a lot of respect, and has always been there for me. I love him very much. I know he loves me too. However, he has a habit of breaking up with me out of nowhere. We'll be so happy for a long time and never fight, and then we'll have one argument and immediately he will associate our disagreement with my "lack of experience" (I am younger than him) because I should understand the way he sees it because he is older. (He's 10 years older than me)

We've talked about it before when this has happened, and he admitted he gets really insecure, but that I helped him with that. It hurts him when we have problems because he finally found somebody he really cares about. He also admitted he knows he has high expectations, expecting things like never having any problems, etc. He has come back to me a few times this has happened, usually a week or so later, saying he's sorry and that he's an idiot when it comes to relationships. This time, he said he needed space and to be alone after our one disagreement, but then he completely broke up with me and made me get my things from his place.

Basically I don't know anymore. I love him with all of my heart, and he makes me incredibly happy. I want him to be happy too. But whenever this happens, I get so confused. We've been especially good lately, and just went on a roadtrip together and have been incredibly close. Then out of no where this happens. I try to be the best girlfriend I can be, but he seems to get upset whenever one little thing goes wrong. So I try to talk about it, but he gets stubborn and ends it. He seems to do this I've noticed when I disappoint him somehow and feels I'm not being aware, and then thinks I am too young. I try to be open-minded and understand his perspective, but I get so tried of always being the one to apologize. I just want a normal relationship, I want this pattern to stop. Any advice from you guys would be awesome, thank you.

Updates:
Thank you everyone so much for the advice, it was hard to pick only one "Most Helpful." I think I'm going to do my best to see if we can deal with what's bothering him and work through it, but if this happens again I'm going to have to move on sadly.

0|0
36

Most Helpful Guy

  • sounds like my relationship, I'm tempted to just end it from time to time, but never done it yet.

    I would say he has some serious doubts about the future of the relationship either from something about you (age, maturity, job prospects, etc.) or how he feels with you and the breaking up after a fight is his convenient way of getting out.

    Until you know and deal with those issues plaguing him, you'll continue to have to deal with this type of stuff. good luck to you!

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Anybody That Continuously Leaves A Relationship Cause Of An Argument isn't Somebody You Want To Be With. When Two People Truly Want To Be With Each, They Work On Their Problems, They Talk It Out & Work It Out. This Guy Is The Complete Opposite, When Things Get Tough He Is Ready To Jump Ship & Leave You In Your Feelings Alone. You Should Move On & Find Somebody Who Will Be With You through Thick & Thin, If You Continue To Try & Make Things Right With Him It Will Only Get Worst. Who Says He wouldn't Leave You While You Were Pregnant During An Arguement, What If y'all Argue Days Before The Wedding, BAM, He Is Gone, You Know Why? Cause He isn't The Type Of Man To Talk Out His Problems, But Run Away & Come Back Whenever HE Wants Too. He Also Leaves The Relationship & Comes Back Whenever He Wants Too Because You Allow It & He KNOWS You Will Take Him Back. iKnow You Love Him But You Have To Set Your Emotions Aside, The Next Time He Leaves (Even Tho iSuggest You Leaving Him) Make The Decision Not To Take Him Back With Your Head & Not Your Heart. You Said He Respects You But Not Enough To Stay & Work Out y'all Problems, You Say He Treats You Well, But Leaves At The First Sight Of Danger, Move On, You Can Do Better, Stay Strong & Stay Positive...

    0|0
    0|0
  • 'This sounds like a tumultuous relationship. I can not associate the word "amazing" and the phrase "treats me well" with a boyfriend who threatens and tries to manipulate and control you. That is my opinion. I think both of you should take a break.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He sounds like a drama queen. Consider if you can put up with this for the rest of your life. If the answer is no, then you need to break up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can speak for only myself, since I used to display that behavior. I did this with a women I still love very much, to this day. It ended up making her very insecure in our relationship to where she acted out. I also ended up bringing back her issues of insecurity and abandonment because of my ridiculous behavior. I ended up having to go into counseling because of it. What I've learned is there is an underlying trauma which contributes to this behavior, whether it being a bad relationship or childhood trauma. I know it is hard to deal with but it's very destructive if nothing changes. DO NOT PERMIT THIS AS IF IT"S OKAY. The age barrier has nothing to do with it, it's an excuse. Best of luck to you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe he lives in a different house to you?

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • Next time he tries to come back, say no. His behaviour is hurting you and its rude.

    Break it off permanently next time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He doesn't really respect you or treat you well since he keeps hurting you and breaking up. He's doing it because he knows that you'll take him back. He's causing all this drama for literally nothing. Or, maybe it's just stroking his ego or something since you keep taking him back. Just don't take him back next time he begs for it. He'll keep doing it, and he's too stubborn to change his ways. When you break up, it should be over. Completely. You can't just break up every other week because of a small argument. He sounds extremely immature. He needs to either figure his shit out or gtfo, permanently. He can't keep doing that to you. Put your foot down and say no. And then stick to your decision (unlike him).

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think he's playing with your heart and is controlling you

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...