Girls: Help. I've f**k'd up. How do I approach tis situation, can it be resolved?

When I finished my ex, a close female friend of mine made her move and told me she has liked me for ages. We talked about things & decided to give it a shot but waited a few months. So a few months down the line we got together, and things were great - we both said that we've never been happier

She has a lot going on in her life atm; she hates her job, wants to go back to uni, her mams been involved in a traffic accident & as a result her car has been wrecked. Additionally she is moving in a few weeks - she currently lives about 5mins from me but is moving around 25 miles away (although a buss travels there)

The moving really freaked me out. I really like this girl, she's lived 5mins away from me my entire life but Id never met her till recently. When we were little we went to the same school together & she knows all my friends but somehow I never met her untill she started working at the same place as me about a year ago (she has since left).

Rather than tell her I was freaking out I tried to keep it hidden, but ended up getting a bit clingy... always asking her if she was free and fancied hanging out. She ended up staying over at mine multiple nights in a row and basically everything moved fast. She has always been an indipendant girl, & deals with things on her own - Im the complete opposite I hate being alone.

Anyway she ended the relationship stating that she freaked out and that it was all too fast, but maintains she likes me. Im giving her some space atm but I want her back. Were still friendly but I dont want to be "just friends".

I haven't told her about my freakout- but do you think that if in a number of weeks I tell her what was going through my mind and that I accept 100% responsibilty for the downfall of the relationship by acting out of character (clingy) we can work through this?

We've never had a fight or an argument, but I now understand I was putting my needs ahead of hers when she already had a lot going on.

Help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, iUnderstand You Want A Lady's Opinion But Here Is Mine, You Can Fix Things, She Asked For Space So Please Give It To Her, Don Talk To Her About The Relationship, Dont Talk About Your Emotions, If You Dont Wanna Be Friends With Her Then Cut All Contact Because You Are Running High On Emotions. Just Fight Your Emotions, Dont Act On Them, Stay Strong, Keep Your Head High, & Stay Positive...

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    • Im currently giving her space, We haven't spoke for a week as of today. But last time we did see eachother I said that there was no bad feelings. She is currently away celebrating her birthday and doesn't return for another week, she said she would see me when she gets back so I was just planning on her initiating contact.

      I dont want to not be her friend, I just want more than that. If it beecomes obvious in a a few months that her mind is made up I will cut all contact from her because I couldnt watch her with somone else.

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What Girls Said 2

  • In the same situation here with a man who does this as if it's 2nd nature to him, his needs matter, mine don't. I told him last night finally that I found him to be completely self centered and that it was becoming a bore only being here when HE needed me to be. It changes how we feel, and men do this all the time and only realize it usually when it's too late.

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    • So in your opinion its too late?

      I would do anything for this girl and didn't mean to drive her away. Its only been upon reflection where Iv analysed every situation and worked out whats gone wrong. I didn't even notice at the time this is what was happening.

      As I say, we have never had a fight or an argument - everything was bliss and she's liked me for months and months, I hope I haven't ruined her opinion of me. Iv really fallen for her.

    • I dont know why it's this way beyond that men are different in that they very naturally put their own needs first as a habit... and women are the opposite, we give and put others first before our needs. But every girl eventually gets tired of feeling as if her needs don't matter - it's hurtful and it makes us feel as if a man does not care. I would tell you to somehow just sincerely express that it doesn't mean that and that you're sorry and want a chance to do better.

  • I would tell her how you feel. I would tell her you got nervous about her moving farther away. Communication is the key. (I need to take my own advice). A relationship works but it takes two people. I am in a long distance relationship right now and its the hardest thing I have done. But it just takes communication.

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    • She is away currently, we haven't spoke for a week and she doesn't return for another 6 days. She said she would see me when she gets back but I haven't contacted her, she has sent me the odd Snapchatt whilsty she's been away but nothing more.

      I dont want to pester her, how long should I leave it before I ask if I can talk to her?

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