This guy is very very nice. He's respectful of women and he has very good and true intentions. We've been talking for a few weeks and we have been on one date. I hate to say it, but I just don't find him attractive, physically. I enjoy spending time with him and talking, but I just… don't think we have a good connection in addition to me not thinking he's attractive. I tried, I really tried. I always like to take personality over looks, but even then… with him he doesn't always laugh at my jokes, he doesn't seem to get my personality. When I don't laugh at his jokes he asks me questions like "did you get that?" and then tries to re-explain.
I feel really bad because he has been nothing but nice and respectful. He is the kind of guy girls look for… but our personalities aren't meshing super well and I don't find him attractive.
I think what I like least about his personality is how.. much he likes things his way? The other night he refused to make out w/ me because he likes me and respects me enough that he wants to take it slow. Sure, that's nice, I guess? I couldn't convince him… which just seems odd. He's acting off of his own world view and idk, just doesn't connect with mine in a way? We went for a walk and when my feet had blisters he was like oh let's just keep going a little further… he's kind of obsessed with always moving. I wanted to sit and watch the sun set and he wanted to walk another mile and watch the sunset.
Idk, he's super nice…. but… something feels disconnected and I don't feel attracted to him as much as I tried to be. I really really try to get to know a person's personality before looks. There's just no spark :/.
So what do I do? Give it a second date? Tell him I just want to be friends? I feel torn because part of me wants to get to know him better and other just says that I know deep down along the line I'd never marry him so I might as well not date him :/
Most Helpful Guy
You shouldn't feel guilty for not being attracted to a guy. No matter how nice he is and no matter if he checks all the other points. It is not an exchange.. being perfect doesn't make other girls owe me attraction.
You should simply tell him that you wouldn't think it will work and you don't feel the connection. If he presses you for details its up to you to tell him or not. If you decide to tell him then tell him the truth and tell him that this is your personal opinion. Other girls will find him attractive.
Its no problem to go on a couple of more dates with him.. sort of see if he changes or may be he had a bad day.. but if he is the same then you just move on.
Just don't feel guilty.0