How do guys take it when their ex is the first one to break no contact?

My ex and I have been apart for about 6 or 7 months now. I ended things. He was devastated and begged me to reconsider for about a month and half after we broke up. Basically it seemed there were just too many issues to contend with and I eventually decided we couldn't get back together - even though I really loved him. He loved me too (apparently more than any other girl and he wanted to marry me). Two months after we finally cut all contact, I heard he had moved on. I on the other hand, said no to every single guy who asked me out because I felt too guilty to say yes. Anyway, fast forward a couple of months... So three months after NC, I texted him saying it had been a long time and that I hoped he was keeping well. He replied like 2 hours later, saying he was doing well and asked me how I was. I causally replied and he never replied back to my text. He is so cold and standoffish towards me. I realise that I hurt him & I was deeply sorry for that. So is it safe to assume that his silence is a clear message that he no longer cares/loves me? and that he has truly moved on? I can't deny that I still love him and it's affecting any chance of me moving on with another guy which is frustrating because I have been approached by sooo many guys and I can't bring myself to go for it...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 'He is so cold and standoffish towards me. I realise that I hurt him & I was deeply sorry for that."

    Sometimes being sorry isn't enough. You destroyed his world, and left him to pick up the pieces. It's a hard road to get past that, and once you do, you don't really want to risk that kind of devastation again.

    You hurt him once, what's to stop you from doing it again?

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    • That's exactly what my ex said to me the last time we saw each other. You're completely right

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well there must have issues on both sides and something caused u to think u had to leave... can he/did he change? Is now able to give you what you need for it to work? It takes two, hope he takes his share here of what caused the break up.

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    • At first he admitted that he had made mistakes too and that he needed to sort his life before anyone could be apart of it... but that was before we almost got together again. Now it seems I am considered the 'bad guy'. Oh well

    • Guys do this ALL the time, because it adds insult to injury. The way I feel now at times it's like they make the mess and expect us to clean it. We need love and support, too. It's rare for men to actually step up in the cases, but that just tells you he's not man enough to help solve a problem. It's easy to blame and get mad, but it doesn't fix anything.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Forgive yourself first. Then forget him. Act like you were never together. Its cold, but thats life. If we were a school of fish, you might swim next to one and you become close. But then you swim in other directions with a new companion. Sometimes you go back to the old fish sometimes you dont.

    I think you should say yes to every guy and go on many dates until you find a guy. Doing nothing is getting you nowhere

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  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Leave Her Ex Alone, You've Caused Damage & Should Just Let Him Go, He Was Crushed So Just Leave Him Alone, Continue No Contact & Date Other Guys, Meet New People, You Made Your Bed, So You Have To Lay In It...

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    • You say it is like it is... but you're so right and I am going to do just that

  • Your breakup was not mutual. You wanted the relationship to end (and you ended it), but he didn't. So you have to respect the fact that you and he are in completely different positions. And while I don't doubt that you felt pain over the breakup, it's not the same as the one getting dumped. It is always best for the person who got dumped to go No Contact (NC). They have to reorient their lives, and deal with really painful feelings. I've been in that situation. And I've been in the situation where a month after getting a phone call telling me our relationship was over she was calling me again. She was crying and going on about "this has been so hard." All the time, of course, she had someone else. She wanted to have things both ways. She wanted to be through with me, but still keep me hanging as "a friend." That didn't work for me, and it wouldn't have been good for me or help me in what I had to work through.

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