My ex boyfriend and I shared many mutual friends including "couple" friends. How can I stay friends with these friends?

My ex boyfriend and I had an intense year and a half relationship. I became pregnant and tragically lost the baby. At the end of our relationship my ex openly cheated on me. Things were nasty, awkward, and messy between us. I never asked friends to choose sides. However, several months later our "couple" friends are now socializing with him and his new girlfriend. This is hurtful and impacts my friendships with these couples. These people were close, personal friends and now I cannot socialize with them. I don't understand why they would be friends with someone like him (self centered, egotistical, mean, immature). Should I talk to them about this, am I being to sensitive, should I just let these once important relationships go?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been there and done that, if the couple friends were his friends first you may want to let them go... It's just going to cause bad blood and turn into a big shit sandwich and start a ton of drama. If they are truly "your" friend they will contact you and be active in your life.

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    • They do contact but I usually re neg on plans because I feel so uncomfortable, We met them together at the same time

    • If I were you I would not sweat it, especially if you feel uncomfortable. You can not let someone else dictate your feelings. I would eliminate myself from the equation.

Most Helpful Girl

  • oh god I wish I could rate this question like we before on old version of this site I would give it all the stars... good question

    usually the friends take sides... it just happens

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What Guys Said 3

  • First off, I am truly sorry for the loss of your child. I've been in a smaller case of your situation but the whole friends social circle idea, I know exactly how you feel I've been there with a few exes ago. Honestly, I do not know these people to whom you call friends but really, not even 1 is willing to hangout with you? Not even for coffee, food, nothing? That's really childish of them in my opinion. If they are so unwilling to even talk via text/call or even bee seen in public with you then just use the doctrine of "They Can Go Fuck Themselves". Who needs them? Do you not have a core group of friends prior to meeting you ex-bf, if not no worries, just call up some old ones and try to reconnect. My whole situation with my ex, our friends pretty much took her side and maybe only 2/3 still were friends with me but after a few years I made other friends and only one of them are still around, she's one of my closest friends. Plus my ex even went as far as ruining my dating scene with this one girl who JUST happened to have gone to the same high school as my ex and were friends hahaha I NEVER heard from that girl ever again. The date and I were totally chemistry on many different levels of interests. I digress but the point I'm trying to make, just be you, be nice and open to make new and better friends. Who knows, those new friends might know of another single that might be to your liking than your ex.

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  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, It May Be Hard But Continue Talking To Your Friends, Pretend it Doesn't Bother You (Even If It Does.) Dont Allow Him To Run Your Life & Control What You Do, Communication Is Key, If You Wanna Talk To Your Friends Then Thats Always An Available Option, Let Them Know How You Feel, Stay Strong & Stay Positive...

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  • Friends take sides.
    They know that he's a cheater, right? And they're choosing him? Do you really want those people as important relationships in your life? Do you think they would look out for you in your future relationships? Do you think they'd have your best interests at heart?

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